Tag Archives: size

In a Famine, My A$$ Could Feed Me for Weeks

Make no mistake. My arse has a plethora of healing powers. Ask anyone who knows me. It’s a magic a$$. It’s an epic shelf of protection, the very source of my earthly powers. Ha!! I joke, but it’s literally a fact that due to my “largess” in the hindquarters region, I would outlive lots of people in a famine. I might even outlive the famine. Fat is a good thing. It nourishes, protects, heals, heats, and feeds. It’s necessary to life. We all have it.lizzys_tush

People often talk about the unhealthiness of being fat, but rarely do you see reports of the good that being a chunky-monkey can do for one in this world of ours. Well, I’m here to set the record straight (or, curvy as the case so clearly is for so many of us). Following are three pluses of being…well, plus.

one

Fat is actually healthy and being overweight leads to longer life for lots and lots of people. Being overweight is even cited as a boon for fertility, better skin, calmer dispositions, stronger bones, and sounder minds. Despite rampant reports that being fat equals automatic heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes, it’s simply not true for lots of people. Studies are coming out all of the time that disprove the “Fat is Always Bad” prejudice.

Unfortunately, what we have in this country is a media monster. This monster spreads misinformation so pervasively and so routinely that few people ever take the time to question, let alone challenge the assertions being made by these misinformed souls. One of the falsities that the media perpetuates is that being fat is universally bad or will lead to bad things down the road. Not true.

We all know that life is much more complex than soundbites and selling news would have us believe, isn’t it? There are way more nuances across the wide spectrum called human health than these media monsters portray. I encourage you all to dig a little deeper. Like anything in life, there are extremes at either end of a particular spectrum. And, unfortunately, these extremes are the most cited as, Du-Du-Dum! Evidence by the media monster.

But, most of us are in the middle somewhere and we know that “the middle” does not sell newspapers, television shows, or magazines. Yes, some people who are fat suffer from the results of that bodily state, but fat does not automatically equal unhealthy and sad, nor does thin automatically equal healthy and happy.

It takes all kinds of shapes, sizes, and experiences to be human and we all have a relevance to the human collective. Bodies are merely vehicles for the exploration of spirit. Your body is the way it is for a reason. If your body didn’t need to be fat or thin, it wouldn’t be. So. There. You’re free. Go forth in your new-found freedom, forget the size of your body, move into soul, find ways to be healthier every day, and be the bad-ass human you came here to be. We’re counting on you.

twoI’ve talked about this before in other posts, but being plus size is an invisibility cloak.  You can get away with alot of shi*t as a fat person. I test this all of the time and it always makes me laugh. As big as I am, I can get in and out of places without ever being seen. It’s the coolest phenomena. I literally walk right past people who, because of what I can only guess are their own prejudices and general insecurity about their body size, do not see me. And, this, my friends, comes in really, really handy. For example, when wanting to merely run into a store and grab something quick without a long, protracted discussion or “connection” with someone, being fat is awesome. It’s freedom. People don’t look at me. And, you know what, that’s okay. I actually like stealth mode.

No fighting to be seen. No more getting other people to validate me or even acknowledge my existence. I get to practice being enough for myself, break the dependency between myself and others, and push deeper into my own psyche, my own healing. It’s liberating.

So. If you’re fat, try to have some fun with it. Know that you are broadcasting an energy beam around the issue and if you look for disapproval in the world, you will find it. If you instead look for ways to validate yourself every day, eventually you will have self-esteem and you will manifest approval from the world in lots of ways. If you can, try to laugh as much as possible and know that other people do not matter one little eensy bit. It’s YOUR opinion that counts. Be stealth. And, giggle. Alot.

threeIf we are totally, totally honest with ourselves and we dig past the societal biases that we’ve maybe absorbed about fat, I bet more than a few of us would be very surprised to realize that we actually like a little cushioning versus bones or rock-hard muscle. Fat is very, very comforting. It’s silly; it jiggles and wiggles. It’s fun to grab and poke and handle. Fat is pleasing to us psychologically because it’s about nurturing; it’s about the mama, being held, being warm, and gently soothed. Fat is comfortable, encircling, engulfing, and just a delightful, never-ending softness. Fat definitely broadcasts a message of fertility, abundance, and pleasure.

This fat phobia of ours is a very recent cultural phenom. Up until the 1920s when the country was becoming enthralled with industry, being a bit fat was okay. Farm people were fatter. They needed to be to work the fields. Women were expected to be fat because they made babies. But, with the choke-hold of the industrial revolution, came the idolization of the “machine”, the “hard”, the “thin”, and along with it swept in the idolization of a thinner body type.

The thing is, world-wide, until modern times, fat has always been viewed as wealth, abundance, comfort, and something to celebrate. This fat phobia of ours is a modern construct. It’s time to be honest. If you don’t like fat, ask yourself why. Do a little digging around in your psyche. But, ask yourself if your ideas about body structure are truly your own or if you have absorbed the ideas from other people. Touch your fat and see what comes up for you. Journal about it. Ask and ask and ask. I bet you’ll be surprised by the journey. Oh, and READ THIS BOOK that I blogged about early on in the life of BBB. You gotta read this book; it will change your ideas about Fat. Guaranteed.

There are many more very real, life-affirming benefits of being fat, but ultimately, this blog is not advocating that people become fat. I’m advocating for the journey toward self-esteem, regardless of how you look or what your bodily conditions are. I’m advocating for self-acceptance because I want us, as a species, to accept others, expand our consciousness, and become healthy. I want us all to be well-fed, happy, and taking responsibility. I want us to own our power, be a force of good on this earth, and love. I want us to love. Even our fat.

 

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How to be Obnoxiously In Love with Your Body

The following was a guest post that I did last July for Outlier Collective, which is now gone (Booo! I miss my friends over there very much), so I decided to re-post it because it’s a perfect representation of the BBB philosophy and is hopefully, helpful. 🙂

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Picture this: A woman, say, in her late 40s, standing in front of a full-length mirror. This woman is grey-haired, heavy-built. She’s looking at her body, up and down and smiling, widely. She giggles, reaches down with both hands and grabs her full, chunky belly, squeezing it as she says to herself: “You are so friggen’ adorable!” This woman clearly loves her body and relishes its size, shape, and bearing. She’s clearly happy with how she looks and loves her girth, despite the fact that her body is “socially stigmatized” as undesirable, unattractive, and unhealthy by large segments of the population. She doesn’t care; at bottom, it doesn’t matter. She is fat. And, she’s completely fine with it. In fact, she’s madly, obnoxiously in love with her body.

Does this scenario seem improbable, maybe even impossible? It’s not. This demonstration of body-love is real and anyone can attain this state of being, regardless of circumstance, body state, fitness, appearance, or health. How do I know this? I’ve done it. The woman that I described above is me. And, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

How did I get to a place where I’m obnoxiously in love with my body? It wasn’t easy, I tell you. It took me years and years to get here. I write about it often on my blog. Ultimately, I think that I got sick of fighting. I got tired of dominating my body and criticizing her and measuring every mouthful of food and obsessing over how I looked. I got sick of caring what other people thought of me. I just got worn down by the struggle and the negative emotions, but beyond all of that, I wanted peace. I deeply wanted happiness. I didn’t want to feel so bad all of the time. I wanted to like my body and relax. I finally, finally let go, dropped my arms, and decided that if I had to be big (like my body so clearly wanted to be), I had to stay healthy. That was my only goal, my only concern, my only rule. And, I’m perfectly healthy, vibrant, active, and thrillingly alive at 5′ 5″ and 245 pounds. My blood pressure is always 110 over 60. I feel and look great.

So, why would any of us want to fall obnoxiously in love with our bodies? Lots of reasons. Primarily, acceptance. Acceptance of the self and others. Acceptance that the body is an integral part of our experience here as human beings and a vital tool, an important element in how we expand as spiritual beings. Without the body, we cannot do the work that we, as souls, crave doing and have come here to do.

At the periphery of our minds, we know that our lives mean something far bigger than our day-to-day concerns and struggles. We know there is a reason we are here. We know that we really should love our bodies, and yet so, so many of us hate our bodies or dislike key aspects of our physiques. So many of us, particularly women, struggle with the body and suffer, truly suffer over how our bodies look, measure up, or perform. Men have this affliction, too, but women. Oh, women. We are largely miserable creatures when it comes to the body. Women are so hard on themselves and by proxy, other women. It does not help that we have these plastic, air-brushed, and computer-manipulated images of “perfect bodies” barraging us from every flat surface.

We, as a species, so dislike the body that we have thousands, maybe millions, of industries devoted to altering, reducing, beautifying, and fixing it. Everything from drastic, brutal methods, such as compulsive exercise, plastic surgery, liposuction, and chemical peels to the less-severe skin and hair treatments, adornment, and concealing clothing. We so dislike our bodies that we mostly will not show what “real bodies” actually look like in advertising, films, art, and other media. This is, thankfully shifting in recent years, but we, for the most part, honor bodies that are not real or representative of the vast majority. We honor the seamless, the young, the endlessly underfed and photo-shopped aliens who peer placidly from the pages of fashion magazines and reality TV shows. So, when your body does not follow the socially agreed-upon convention of beauty, what then? You begin to despise it and this happens at a very early age in this culture.

I really believe that most people want to feel better, happier, more centered, balanced, and loving. Falling in love with your body is an excellent way to increase positive thoughts and emotions. Falling in love with your body is a perfect way to live a richer, happier, and more loving existence. It’s not easy to get there, but loving your body and honoring its needs, rhythms, messages, and life apart from you, the consciousness inhabiting it, is a delicious way to get deeper into why you are here as a human being. I argue that mankind cannot advance to his greatest potential without a healthy love or respect for the body.

So, how does one do this? Start small. Following are three ways to start falling obnoxiously in love with your body.

  • Start with your thoughts and beliefs. Think about the beliefs, thoughts, and ideas that you have about your body. Where did these opinions come from and who influenced your ideas about the body? Think about your shape, fitness, and health. Are you happy when you think of your body or less than joyous? What are you wanting from your body that you do not have now? Think about it. Then, you can try sitting down and writing it all out. Write down how you feel about your body and how you want to feel. Do this so you can create a dialog with yourself and get comfortable thinking about your beliefs. Our beliefs hugely influence the way that we look. Yes, genetics plays a role and also environmental factors, but nothing affects the body greater than thought. If you can get to a place where you can more quickly pin-point an idea that does not serve you, you can change it.
  • Understand that our cultural ideas about beauty have nothing to do with reality. I’m sorry, but women have cellulite. Women make babies. It’s a fact of life. We need some pudge. We need curves. Whoever came along and decided that cellulite was ugly and had to be air-brushed out probably had body issues, but that doesn’t mean that we have to accept this opinion. Nor do we have to shame our bodies because they don’t measure up to some false ideal of beauty. That is a choice that many of us make, but we can change it. Bodies are varied and multi-faceted and miraculous. Bodies serve us in the exact dimensions that we need in order to expand as spiritual beings. Sometimes those bodies need to be big and dense and sometimes small and light. It takes all kinds of bodies to make all of this living work. So, realize that the opinions we are being fed by way of the media are simply opinions of others, are to be heavily questioned, and do not have to be accepted.
  • Realize that you are an electromagnetic being and a powerful creator here in this body. Your body is vital to the process of your expansion. The body is doing exactly what you have commanded of it by way of your thoughts and behaviors. If you continually crab about the shape of your body guess what you are concentrating on through your attention—the current shape of your body. This focus on the negative disallows any number of other realities of which your body is capable, because you are focused, with your thinking, on the problem, not the solution. Try instead to sit quietly for five to ten minutes per day and think of all the things that you appreciate about your current body. Send your body loving thoughts. Maybe you like your toned arms. Well, tell your body that. Maybe you love your skin. Tell that to your body. Have a discussion with your body. Ask it what it wants and needs. Even if you do not “hear” anything in response, know that you are creating bridges of understanding between your consciousness and your body and its particular consciousness. Be willing to listen and this will create huge openings inside of you. You will start to feel better, slowly, but surely.

This is what I know: all of us can change our minds and learn to love our bodies. We have ultimate power and control over what we think, feel, and how we react to life’s circumstances. All of us can decide to change our thinking and thus, our beliefs about our bodies (or any topic). We do not have to hate or be critical of our bodies. We can choose love and appreciation. If we choose to facilitate a deeper love and respect for our bodies, lots of positive things will result. The most important of them: you feel better and you have more happiness. Consider falling madly in love with your body just as it is and see how your life unfolds. Just watch the universe mirror that love and appreciation back to you.

Guest Post Series: Breastrokes, Starting Tomorrow!

Hi, BigBodyBeautiful peeps! How are you all doing?

Quick announcement to tell you that starting tomorrow, we’re launching a new guest post series called Breaststrokes by Claudia Moss a wonderful author, radio personality, speaker, dancer, and all-around AMAZING WOMAN and sister-of-my-soul. I LOVE this woman so much. The light in her eyes, the fire in her belly, and the love that she beams at the universe is simply a gift to all of humanity and is breathtakingly gorgeous. Claudia is a Goddess.

The Breaststrokes series is a compilation of monologues, written from the point of view of the breasts and in which the breasts share their thoughts about life and enlighten us to the concerns of, and messages from, this part of the body. I love this series so much, because these writings are funny, interesting, poignant, and such a celebration of the body consciousness. BBB will be sharing works from the Breaststrokes series over the course of several months.

So, the first post will go live sometime tomorrow. Please give the series a read, leave your comments, and send a sister some love and support! All my love and light to you, friends. ~BigLizzy

Playing with My Pudge

Do not fear. This is not an obscene post, despite the rather provocative title. Hahaha…just have to tell you this funny story from some years back and hopefully, it will bring you a smile and remind you that the body is our refuge; it can be a source of peace, comfort, and nurturing.

bubbles

When I first stated technical writing fifteen years ago, I interned at an electrical engineering company in Silicon Valley. So, my job was serving triple-PhD. engineers in the Integrated Circuit, Semiconducting, and “hard-as-shite” sector of the working world. There I was, a tiny, shiny fish in a huge ocean of mathematical equations, you know: transistors, electrons, physics, voltages, poly-silicon, etc.

Now, I am not a math person. I’m a creative soul, first and foremost. I have always been a creative person, as in, a liberal arts geek: poet, artist, graphic designer, freelance journalist, crafter, theater-nerd, etc. So, how the heck I landed a job in “uber-math-ville” is beyond me, but I nailed the interview and charmed all of those “Data-from-StarTrek” types with whom I interviewed that day. I think they hired me because I was bold and loud and so unlike all of them. But, I digress.

Early on in my writing career at Cadence Design Systems, aka “Math-Central”, I realized that over half of one’s time in High Tech is spent in meetings with lots of other people. And, if you know anything about me at all, you know that I suffer from extreme sensitivity (aka social anxiety), so meetings are, understandably, the bane of my very existence. Sitting in a room with lots of other people and trying to keep myself from falling off of the planet is physically painful. Meetings suck.

One day, like, two weeks into my first-ever exposure to High Tech and the mind-numbing machinations of technical meetings with 25 other people all crammed into a small, hot room, I was sitting there trying to get my pulse under control when out of the corner of my eye I see the dude beside me kind of shrink away and shift his chair over uncomfortably with a look of horror on his face. I follow his terrified gaze and look down at my lap where I notice that I have two fistfuls of my belly fat and am shaking it gently like a mother soothes a little baby. HAhahahahaha! No lie!

Needless to say, my face instantly flushed scarlet, I started to sweat, and quickly muttered “I’m so sorry. I do this when I’m nervous. OhMyGod, I am so, so sorry.” The dude was seriously FREAKED OUT! I mean, NO ONE in High Tech admits to having a body let alone touching it in front of others, EVER. I had broken one of the cardinal rules of High Tech: admit that you actually have a body and are not simply all mind like everyone else around you.

Holy-poop! I was so scared that the dude was going to report me to HR and that my career would end before it ever really got off the ground. For the record, he didn’t report me. But, for the next three years, whenever he saw me, he avoided me. I’m talkin’: briskly-walk/run-out-of-the-hallway-away-from-me avoidance.

I can laugh about it now, but back then, I was mortified! I couldn’t explain to him that I do this to comfort myself and that when I reach down, grab my yummy belly, and give her a little pat and a shake, it makes me feel better instantly. It’s not lascivious or obscene, it’s just a way for me to mother myself. It’s a way for me to love my body and take refuge in her ample-ness. I couldn’t fully explain that I was stressed and I needed to feel better. No, instead, I had to put myself on notice right then and there and, vow to never do it again, EVER (which, of course, just added to my anxiety in meetings). But, such is life.

The take-away is this: even if others do not honor this or understand, our bodies can be our biggest source of comfort and peace. We absolutely can turn to them to make ourselves feel better and to sense our divinity, our connection to the universal mother, and tap into the healing energies available to us. It is okay to love the body and turn to it when we need help. We can use the body to center with, align with, and embrace our highest good and the mommy or daddy inside of us that adores us and wants what’s best for us. It’s part of the body’s role. It’s part of the agreement that the body makes with us when we decide to play together in a lifetime.

Our bodies want to be useful and helpful. They do. So, to me, it feels like it’s time for us, as a race, to dig into this concept and find a way to open the channel of communication with ourselves, reach for greater healing by way of our bodies, and grab happy fistfuls of belly fat. Just pick a better location to do this comforting work than I did. LOL!

Anyway, I always say: “If you got it, grab it, baby” and I’ll now add to that: “…”and hold on, despite other people’s reactions”. So, go on. Reach down there and play with the belly pudge. See how you feel! 

All my love and light to you, my friends. Yours always, BigLizzy

Three “Big-A$$” (heh, heh) Reasons to Share this Blog

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Helllooooo, all of you fine, body-acceptin’ humans! It occurred to me that if we are going to start and maintain a “revolution” of the body-lovin’ variety, we need more peeps in the loop. We need to spread the message. I cannot do this alone. I need my body-adorin’ posse to show up. So, toward that end, I offer you the following, compelling reasons for sharing this blog.

Reason #1: You want to help others

It’s clear that you are compassionate. You are present. You care about your friends and family. You see others as beautiful no matter what they wear, weigh, say, or do. While that’s abundantly evident and a core part of your life, you know that many of your friends and family could benefit from a small shift in focus, a new way to view physicality, a slight change in how they think. You know that getting to a higher plateau, a deeper, more tranquil relationship with the body would truly help others and would positively impact many different areas of their lives. Nothing would delight you more than seeing your friends and loved-ones begin (or continue) the process of loving themselves as much as you love them.

  • Simply put: Helping others to accept themselves feels good. It feels good to love others and to see them prosper. It feels good to give others an avenue through deeper healing, deeper being. Let’s do this together. Let’s help other people. : )

Reason #2: Body-hating is contributing to many social ills and it’s time to fix it 

Look around. All around us are massive-piles of evidence that point to mankind’s reluctance to accept and honor the body, its needs, its messages, its wants. This mass-decision (and delusion) is threatening humanity’s lasting happiness and I argue our continued survival. With everything from dense, antiquated, and unrealistic religious edicts about the body’s various sins, transgressions, and uncleanliness, to modern advertisements that beg women to hide their skin, smells, and bodily functions with chemical-laden, unhealthy, and frankly, dangerous products, it’s so clear that we have a serious problem here.

We, as a species, largely disapprove of or flat-out hate our bodies. For many people, this hatred permeates every aspect of life. It creates an adversarial basis to everything that we do. For, as we know, from within, comes the basis of all outer manifestation. If that inner terrain is rife with angst, anxiety, and disdain for our bodies and by proxy, others, how can we fully and happily live? How can we accept others? How can we truly be at peace?

If we are to evolve as a species and become creators and not victims, we simply must vanquish this pervasive body disdain, because it is the wellspring from which bubble many of our most vexing human problems, problems that range from mental and emotional to physical and behavioral. Some examples of the most damaging social ills include: child abuse, murder, self-destruction, drug abuse, damage to the earth, crime, and misuse of power (among many others); these problems are pointing to, at bottom, a mistrust of the body, either our own or others’. I’m not saying that body hatred is the root cause of these social ills, but in my estimation, it’s a key component of everything that is “wrong with humanity”.

If we do not accept the body, our full self, in all of its qualities, we cannot truly ever accept other people. We cannot walk softly on the earth or honor the earth-mother’s body. We cannot advance spiritually. We cannot love fully and deeply like we are designed to do. If we choose to neglect or hate our bodies, we cannot form lasting, peaceful relations with other cultures or life forms. In my humble opinion, this is the biggest threat to mankind’s survival.

  • Simply put: Hating the body is not okay. Subscribing to a religion or belief system that illustrates a shame or disdain about the natural processes of the body and teaches about the body’s supposed uncleanliness or depravity is to be questioned and if needed, quickly and thoroughly abandoned. This no longer serves us as a species. It’s time to take ownership of our beliefs and behaviors. It’s time to question our ideologies and ask why we believe what we are taught. It is time for free-thinking, people. Not life-damaging, body-desecrating dogma.

Reason #3: It’s time to embrace that we are powerful creators and can be the change that all of humanity needs

So many of us keep doing the same stuff over and over. We do the same routine, the same workout, the same Friday night get-together with the friends. We are routine-based organisms. We largely like predictability and sameness. However, sometimes the same old thing stops working.

I think humanity is caught smack-dab in the middle of one such crisis: the old is no longer working and we are faced with sheer, abject terror over what will replace the old ways of doing things. We realize that taking power over each other and our Earth-Mother is not yielding the satisfaction that it once did. We are feeling restless, bored, numb, depressed, and frustrated with ourselves and the powers that be. Many of us have a sense that there has to be more, there has to be something else out there, there has to be a reason for all of this stuff that keeps happening to us. This is good. It’s progress for us.

I choose to believe that mankind is going to get to a healthier place in all aspects of life and soon; I feel that that we are in the midst of a huge shift in consciousness. We are largely moving away from fanatical, damaging, and harmful behaviors to a deeper living, a deeper spirituality, a deeper awareness that includes honoring the body, Earth-Mother, and the even the unseen forces that so many of us sense (and which help shape our lives).

I can feel a building hunger in mankind to get better, to heal, to realize why we come back to this planet over and over. I can feel mankind one-by-one leaping into the unknown terrain inside and emerging victorious. We want answers. We want to know what things mean. We want to know that our lives stand for something. There has to be more than just acquiring possessions and wealth. There has to be more than watching endless episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Simply put: It’s time for mankind to embrace this shift in consciousness and abandon his  long-perpetrated rape-and-pillage paradigm in favor of a more peaceful, consciously aware, and responsible role. It’s time for us to push forward into our deepest healing and one way to do that is to question how we feel about our bodies and look for any opportunity to be aware of our thoughts and beliefs about the body because these absolutely color everything else in our lives. It’s time to celebrate the body in all of its manifestations. It’s time for us to reverse or at least stop the damage that we have done to our Earth-Mother. You can be a part of this effort. You, right there, reading this post, can begin to address this issue. You are a powerful being. You can affect change. We all can. It all starts inside.

So, all of this to say that I would LOVE it if you would help me spread the word about this blog and in the process help others. Together, we can help so many people change their inner world that will in turn help and change the outer world. Thank you for reading and being a part of the revolution. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Thin is Sickly. Or, Is it?

I have a confession to make. Once I learned to accept my burgeoning self, my rotundness, and once I learned to really, really like my curves, I realized something shocking as I sat thinking about a friend of mine (who, by the way, is impossibly thin and beautiful). What did I realize? That I’m just as judgmental about thinness as everyone else is about fatness. I’ll explain.

I have often had the thoughts that thin people are sickly, weak, and more prone to illness. I look at them and immediately, at that split-second-brain-warp-speed, think that about them. It’s true. I’ve thought that about nearly every thin person I’ve ever seen. Even the ones who are fit and use any excuse they can to show off their ridiculously toned abdomens in half-t-shirts or stretchy, brightly colored yoga-wear. Yep, in my book, thin has almost always meant sickly.

Well, this used to be my opinion until I caught myself thinking it one day and yelled “Ah-HAA!” loudly in the quiet room. Stunned, I sat there examining the thought that had just shot up from some dark fathom inside of me to hang there in my mind like a jagged little soot-colored shard of glass. Hoh-my-God! I think that thin people are sickly just like other people think that fat people are sickly. Hoh-my-God! I am doing the exact same thing: judging other people solely by their appearance!

But, it goes deeper than just judging appearance. (Doesn’t it always?)

We hold certain beliefs about the world that are from a primal, deep, and almost reptilian place, a place that is core to us, an area that is very difficult to access, but when accessed and analyzed, can yield great personal transformation. So, my idea that thin = sick is from that place, that reptilian, dna, core-belief center inside. How do I know that it’s a core belief? Because I have thought it at least a gazillion times. Stay with me.

Most of the people in my family are fat. I grew up around fairly fat people all of my life. And, when my family members weren’t fat, they were dieting or starving themselves into a temporary thinness (myself included) that was quickly supplanted by even more fat than when they started. So, I knew fat. I understood it. I looked at it, drew some comfort from it (as a young child) and then as a teenager, secretly loathed it and vowed that I would never ever end up like them. Which, of course, I did.

Fat was the norm, even though I knew that my family members were different and laughed at and despised and judged. Continually. But, fat, for me, was familiar. Safe. So, over time, I gravitated to the idea that thin was bad and fat was good. I mean, look at it: Fat is succulent and hearty. It’s rosy-cheeked and sturdy. It can carry two pails of milk from the barn and re-roof the house before lunch. Fat is fun. It jiggles, wiggles, and makes you laugh. It’s happy. Thin just looked painful to me. Thin looked like it was going to snap in half (at any second). Thin always conjured up images of bones angrily poking from beneath papery, ashy skin.

I walked around for years thinking this about other people and in most cases, it probably wasn’t true. Sure, some of the thin people I saw were sickly, but not all. Some of the fat people were sick because of their obesity, but not all.

As we know, the thought is always about the thinker. The thought is always the mechanism that creates the thinker’s reality. Core beliefs are formed by people observing circumstance, experiencing the results of their choices, and thinking certain thoughts over and over and over. These beliefs then form the place from which we make our inner (and outer) world.

But, these beliefs should always be questioned. They should be examined and teased apart and regarded from all angles. They should be asked: “Are you true?” “Are you real?” “How do you serve me?” “From where do you come?” “Why are you here?” “What have you given me?” And, in some cases, “When are you leaving?”

Thin is sometimes sickly but not always. Fat is sometimes burdensome, but not always. Thin is normal to some and easy for some, but not all. Fat is healthy for many, many people, but not everyone. Fitness is enjoyed by the fat and thin alike. Despite media reports, not every fat person is sick and not every thin person is automatically better off than a fat person.

So, what I learned from this experience is that trying to eradicate judgement is impossible, but it’s a good idea to catch up with oneself, think about the day, ponder the kinds of thoughts you have been having about yourself and others, dig around, look at your beliefs, weigh the prejudices and judgments that you hold, seek to understand the source of these things, and see if what you are holding onto still serves you.

Welcome to the Quiet Revolution

you don’t know me yet, but you will. soon. my name is self-esteem. i hang around at the periphery of most people’s lives, especially women’s lives. but, that is all going to change, eventually, because this entity, self-esteem, is going to start a quiet, earnest revolution, a ripple in people’s thinking, a wave of new consciousness, a profound shift.

how, you ask? simple. i, self-esteem, am going to remind other people of their decisions, their freedom, their energy, their attitudes, their power and show them that all of these become the body. body is beautiful, body is necessary to expansion, to exploration of the earth plane, and thus, it should be celebrated, not hated. join me. let’s change our thinking. let’s change this world. let’s love instead of hate. yours truly, self-esteem.

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