Tag Archives: psychic

Dare You Enter the World of the Empath?

*Photo by Meireles Neto on Unsplash

Why, hello, lovelies. It’s been too long. I have no excuses. I’m just gonna dip in and blurb this out so I can feel myself releasing it and hope it helps the world in however small a way. But, before I do: How have you been? I’ve missed you all. I’d ask forgiveness for being so neglectful, but maybe that’s not required. Maybe, all that’s required is to begin again. And, again. So, I begin again.

Dare you enter this dark forest? This room made of bone. This bed of mystery, magic, and wonder. Do you dare come here with all of you? If you do, you will be unbelievably rewarded, but it won’t be an easy trek. Ever. I warn you.

To come here, means you walk a path fraught with hazards and discomforts from the first step to the last. It’s a trail choked with vines, leaves, and creepy crawlies through a dimly lit forest where shapes loom at you from the darkness and hiss into your hair, caress the delicate skin of your neck like a cold bone moving. You have to be strong enough not to retreat. You have to stand your ground, dig in, wait for the messages to emerge. Hold it. Dare you enter this place where only the bravest, most compelled, and maybe reckless can stand? Well, if you’re still standing here, then I invite you in. But, not without a bigger warning.

Empaths are dangerous, deeply dangerous if what you really want is to stay asleep, lounge, feel only pleasure, or check out of what’s real. You cannot hang with an Empath and be “off” all of the time. It won’t work. The bottom line: Empaths don’t fuck around. They get shit done. They live in hyper-awareness. They chart unknown places within themselves and others. They scrutinize, examine, open up, express, create, channel, process, and birth. Over and over. Sometimes loudly. Stand in their way and well, I can guarantee that you’re gonna feel and see some things, things you might not like. The operative word here is FEEL. You will feel (deeply) if you are involved with an Empath. Like it or not.

So, are you really ready? Ask yourself this before entering the gates, because once you do, they lock behind you and you can only move forward by walking through the realm.

To be with an Empath means you stand in the fire of truth. All.Of.The.Time. This means that you are asked to show up, front and center, stand up for what you experience, EXPRESS yourself clearly and honestly. Not so much because the Empath needs you to do that for her. No, she needs you to do it for yourself. That’s the only way you can keep her. You have to be as strong as she is. Not in the exact same way, no. It’s all ying and yang. It’s all about balances, but you do have to love yourself and be willing to work on shit. Bad shit. Good shit. All the shit. The Empath will know if you are phoning it in, faking it, or otherwise disingenuous. She will know. You will know that she knows. And, then. She will vaporize like smoke through trees. Gone.

So, if you want to get with the Empath, be honest. Are you up for this challenge? You want to crack this mysterious code? You think you can dive beneath the surface of this placid pond at the center of which lies a seething vortex? You think you can take it? I think you can. Even if you have some fear. You can. But, you have to be ready. And, if you are, you have amazing things awaiting you. If you are strong enough to take on an Empath, this is what you’ll get:

Unbelievably intense, exciting, fascinating, tender, creative, and thrilling experiences that melt you with seductiveness and earthiness, dance your body to and fro, and endlessly pull your mind in and out of worlds beneath worlds, beneath worlds. You will get loved like never before. You will feel the most permeating, body-rearranging, and soul-altering intensity (be it thoughts, sounds, colors, or sensations) you have ever felt.

You will stagger under the weight of pleasures you didn’t know existed, both physical and mental. You will see a riot of constant, ever-changing vistas and feel light particles opening layers of yourself up that have yet to be seen or touched. You will fucking see and feel as if for the first time because standing next to the firehose that is an Empath will blast away your delusions and clear your psyche.  You’ll get it all. And, you’ll be safe enough to ponder life in it’s garish beauty and rawness, its awful glory, because the Empath lives inside of the vein most of the time and will show you how to do it, too. But, don’t worry. She will hold your hand, help you feel safe in the journey, encourage you, and at times hand you her sword.

You cannot stand next to an Empath and not be dragged into the depths. It’s just the way it is, but if you let yourself go, give yourself over to her and the sensations, you will grow so much. You will know why you came here. Back to earth. Back to a body. Back to the grind. You will expand exponentially as a human being. And, you will appreciate it anew every day, because the Empath rewrites the world every day and re-experiences the nuances of life every day.

Neither of you will ever be bored. In fact, life with an Empath means that you never sit still long enough to become apathetic, lackadaisical, or disenchanted. You move. You rocket your way through experiences that move you outside of yourself and your petty concerns to the larger layers of life itself and what it means to be human. You will regularly fly up into the reaches of space and look down on all that is, seeing the tapestry that is existence. And, you will start to get some of it. The randomness will begin to make some sense.

The Empath will show you her heart and soul (if you have gained her trust). If an Empath trusts you, you will be given full access to all that she has and is. You can hold it, touch it, knead it, bring it inside of yourself, taste it, learn from it, and go back for more. An Empath never runs out of compelling stuff to share and experience with you. This means, physical objects and metaphysical/emotional/psychological stuff, too. She will share it all because life with an Empath is lived wide open. There are no barriers, no blockages, no bullshit.

You have but to reach out and graze her soft skin with the tips of your fingers, gently asking, and she will turn to you and beam at you with a succulent light that warms you through and through; light that clears away the illusions and increases your consciousness. The light of the deepest compassion you are likely ever to encounter. Just look into her eyes. You will feel it. And, you will never be the same if you love her and let her loose inside of you. I promise you this.

So, can you stand in this hidden fire, sunken into the depths of a dark forest? Can you shake yourself out in front of her and let her help shift through your illusions and ideas about things? Can you be who you are in her presence? Can you be real? Can you be honest? Unwind yourself and look at what’s there and maybe what you want next? Can you wait until she trusts you and gives her softest places to you? Can you live inside this magical spell? Just say yes.

*Photo Credit: Meireles Neto on Unsplash

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Sensitivity on Steroids, Part One

Oh, my lovelies. This is an uncomfortable post. A post that I both want and don’t want to write because…well…because…(I’m trailing off here in case it’s not obvious). How do I put this? “Just put it,” says a small voice in my head. “Trust that people will get it–the right people will get it.”

Then, cut back to an image of me absolutely squirming in my seat. Jumping out of my skin. Whirring away into the air like a puff of smoke. Gah!

I don’t want to publish this post because it will expose things, reveal even more of my tender underbelly, the part that I protect savagely, the part of me, ironically, that I can no longer protect by keeping hidden. The part that, due to recent circumstances, now needs to be opened up to the light, exposed…exposed…exposed…not closed off and shoved to the periphery. I have to start talking about this. And, by doing so, I *hope*, the need I have for such fierce protection, such armament, such a strong “Viking” mode that I have chosen to use and express from much of my life (and likely before this life) will soften. I *hope*.

This urge to un-mask and admit what I’m about to let loose into the world makes me nervous. Or, more accurately, it makes my ego extremely nervous. My ego doesn’t want anyone forming an impression of me as one of “those people”. It’s quaking at the thought that people will be afraid of me after reading this or nervous or stymied around me in some way. My ego is afraid that others will think I’m one of those “Sedona freaks” who believes in crystals, Tarot, meditation, and psychic ability. But, the truth is: I am. I am one of those people. I do believe in all of that stuff. I use those tools. I’m learning more everyday about so much of that stuff. I can’t control what others think of me. I need to own this part of who I am. So, I have to fess up. Tell the truth.

<Cut to a soundtrack of my ego screaming.>

Photo compliments of Robert Lukeman and https://unsplash.com/

Photo compliments of Robert Lukeman and
https://unsplash.com/

For the record: I have an almost debilitating social anxiety. I’m an exposed nerve ending. I’m acutely uncomfortable around other people. Always. I’m on edge almost all of the time. I’m exhausted by my interactions with others, not nourished or encouraged or built up. One or two people around me is fine, but anything more than , say, five people and I’m a mess. Inwardly. Outwardly, you’d never know that I was so uncomfortable, so on edge, because I’ve learned how to activate the “auto-pilot” and largely disassociate my way through interactions, parties, crowded sporting events, malls, public-speaking events, conferences, on-site work, airports, yoga classes, and so on. I’ve learned how to fake my way through situations that most others simply take for granted and never sweat. Speaking of sweat, I do it alot when I’m around other people. That’s how you can tell. If I’m sweating profusely, I’m anxious. It’s how I was wired from the get-go. I cannot change it.

A girlfriend of mine (really, more of a loving sister to me. I love you, LaVerne), and I were talking about life one day. We had taken a long motorcycle ride together and stopped in a small Route 66 town for some lunch. We sat waiting for our meals when the topic ventured into the realm of the psychic, which it unnervingly does with me often and is happening with more frequency as the years go on. In the course of this conversation, it occurred to me that my “anxiety” is probably something else. It’s not just “GAD” (general anxiety disorder). It’s deeper.

Que the dramatic music: Duhn, dunh, duhn.

The tiny tendril of a thought began blossoming inside of me and before I could stop it or edit it away, it hit me: my anxiety is probably tied to my heavily (and I mean HEAVILY) suppressed psychic ability. AGH!

There, I said it. In public. I can never take it back. I’ve published this post. It’s in the world. Hoh-shite! RUN! Move away. Disappear. Go live on a deserted island with no Internet. Never be seen or heard from again.

:::Deep breath:::

Truth is: I’m psychic. (Hey, we all are. Yes, even you, the one rolling your eyes). But, apparently, I’m really, really psychic. Or, so I’m told. The problem is: I’m deeply reluctant to be this way. I’ve run from this “sensitivity” for a very long time. I want to say that I’ve run from it all of my life, but I didn’t consciously know that I was like this until relatively recently. I had no solid clue until approximately ten years ago. And, to be honest, I still kind of doubt it. I don’t *quite* believe that I am. Why? because I push it away. I don’t work with it consciously. I don’t do readings on people. I don’t use it. I don’t like it. I run. I’m talking “on-fire-running-away-from-it-as-fast-as-I-can” running. So, I often can’t tell the difference between information that I’m “receiving” and information that originates within my own thought stream and psyche. I cannot differentiate between my stuff and other people’s stuff. It all feels like my stuff.

At any rate, it’s obvious to me now that my deep sensitivity is tied to this, whatever you want to call it: “ability”, “curse”, “gift”. I’m not comfortable with any of it. And, this post is freaking me out. But, it’s too late now.

Most of you know that my sensitivity is OFF THE CHARTS. I am incredibly sensitive. Not in a simpering, weak-willed, collapse-in-on-myself, wallflower way. No. I’m incredibly strong-willed, bold, fierce (when required), and tough. When I say that I’m sensitive, I mean that I feel EVERYFUCKINGTHING around me 24/7. I feel things from the world (planet, universe, cosmos, deep space) on a daily basis that would send most people to the loony-bin in less than two weeks. I feel EVERYTHING. My running joke is that if a moth dies in the Amazon, I feel it. It registers, it washes through me, and it has an effect on me. And, it produces feelings inside of me.

I’ll give you an example: I’m so sensitive that I cannot drive past a livestock truck without full-on tearing up. Yes, actually crying. I mean it. It happens to me nearly every time I see one of those trucks. Why? Because I absolutely feel all of the consternation, terror, sadness, and uncertainty of the animals being transported in the truck. I can even feel the emotions of the animals that were carried in the truck prior to the ones that I’m driving past. I can LITERALLY FEEL THEIR EMOTIONS, their full-on awareness of what is happening, how they know where they are going, and the fact that they are going to die. They KNOW IT. I can feel their deep grief, their worry, their physical pain, their sickness in some cases, and their sense of loss at being away from others with whom they grew close. I feel it all.

This is not me being crazy. It’s not me making it up. It’s not me trying to get attention. It’s not the writer in me writing fiction. No, no, no. IT’S REAL. I know it because it is AWFUL. And, it’s OVERWHELMING for them and for me. So, I cry. Oh, and let me tell you: God forbid I see a tail or an ear poking out of one of the little slats in the truck. That’s enough to make me pull over and outright sob. Not kidding. My level of sensitivity is epic. It scares the shit out of other people and it scares the shit out of me. But, it finally occurred to me that this sensitivity is evidence of my psychic ability. I just never connected the dots until recently.

To Be Continued….

In the interim, are you aware of your psychic abilities (whether latent or in the foreground)? Share your story here. I want to know how you cope with it or if you’ve embraced it and actually use your abilities. I’m eager to hear your journey, friends.

 

Sensitivity Training

How are your senses? Are they sharp, defined, full of feeling, attention-grabbing? Do you feel and know things that you can’t quite explain? Do you sometimes have to close your eyes to control the stimulation coming at you and through you? Are you light-sensitive? Do you feel emotions taking root inside of your body? Are you convinced that sometimes the emotions are not yours, but they are so strong that they become yours, so it doesn’t really matter? For me, it’s all of the above.

sensitivity

I sometimes joke with people about being so sensitive that when a moth dies in the Amazon, I feel it. I really do feel like this. Being me, in this body, in this particular life is like being on hyper-drive all of the time. I feel so deeply that it scares other people. Hell, it often scares me and I’m in here. I’ll give you some examples.

When I first began dating my now husband, we were sitting in the car at a traffic light. There, on the corner was an enormous man who clearly was trying to gauge his ability to get across the street in time before the light changed. I could feel his thoughts, his consternation, his concern. Because of his size, he was very worried. I didn’t blame him; it was a busy street. He had difficulty walking. I could feel all of this from him. But, it went beyond that. I could feel his life-long grief, his vulnerability, his sorrow. I could feel his body. I registered the pain in his back. I could feel the troubled past of this man in my very cells. And, it was an instant-sharp-knife in my heart. I sat there looking at him, getting waves of this information and simultaneously feeling my own heart break into a million pieces for this man. I was choked by it. I simply could not breathe. I couldn’t take it.

In a flash, I closed my eyes, turned away, and started sobbing. Craig looked over at me and immediately asked what was wrong. Through my profuse tears, I explained to him what had just happened and told him how it happens to me all of the time. I explained that it has happened to me in the supermarket before and I’ve had to walk out of the store with a shopping cart full of food sitting there, because I cannot hold the energy, the activity, the feelings. I actually half expected Craig to high-tail it for the hills at about that point, but he didn’t. He was sad for me but also interested in learning more about this phenomenon.

Another example: Sometimes, I’ll be walking through a room and it’s like I walk into a bubble of energy that is so strong it takes my breath away. I instantly start to tear up and suck in my breath. As a Pisces, I am so “on” that my natural reaction to anything, whether it’s sad, happy, energetic, or otherwise is to cry. The tears will start rolling down my cheeks, quickly with little provocation, as I try to sort out what the hell it was that I just walked through. My body? It begins to shake and I get chills from my head to my toes. I feel agitated, antsy, and like I have to move my body very quickly. I rarely figure out what it was that I walked through, by the way. I just don’t understand what it is or why it happens to me.

When a friend thinks of me, I feel a warm little “ping” in the core of my body. I may not know who is doing the thinking, but I feel them. I feel others’ emotions even when not in the same room or state or country. I can feel all of the people whom I love. I mean, I LOVE people so strongly and so tremendously, it’s earth-moving, deep, intense, and have I mentioned, pretty scary sometimes. But, I can feel people thinking about me and creating an opening between us.

The thing is, I have largely fought this sensitivity all of my life. I have fought this level of feeling all of my flippin’ life. It has always scared me to feel as deeply as I do, so I have used my body as a shield against feeling. I have created a large, strong outer shell to buffer the stimulation coming at me. For so many years, I was so “open” and so “on” that I couldn’t contain the emotion, the stimuli, so I’ve used my precious body as a go-between, a pillow to protect my sensitive inner core, a core that felt like it was always about to shatter. And, my body has done such an amazing job of protecting me. She has.

But, this denial of my gifts, this “clamping down” on my sensitivity has come at a huge cost. I have shielded so pervasively that I cannot hear my spirit guides now. I’m having a real problem advancing my spiritual explorations because of my deep-seated fear of “feeling too much” or “knowing too much”. I’ve largely shut down my third eye and made myself dense, heavy, slow, and closed off to my inner, feminine faculties. I have aligned with the male in me and the victorious, the aggressive, the strong. I have harmed my lovely body with overwork, stress, and injuries.

What I didn’t realize (until I was 42 years old) was that I was living with a wide-open etheric body. In a reading, a psychic told me that all of my chakras were wide open, unprotected, and that people were climbing their energy inside of me all day, every day. I was literally a dumping ground for other people’s energetic outpourings. Ah-HA! It made perfect sense! No wonder I always felt like such crap after being in public. No wonder I couldn’t tolerate concerts, the theater, or parties or groups of more than five people; because I was, in essence, a walking nerve ending with all this energy and feeling that did not belong to me. People’s energy would bomb-blast me and I’d be sick for three days afterwards. I would just “crash”. So, no wonder I used my body to guard me and resist all of this. I couldn’t consciously understand what was happening to me and why I always felt like such poop, so, I did my best to shut down and make my body do all of the heavy lifting (pun intended).

Now, I like to think of myself as undergoing sensitivity training. I am actively working to shield myself with various exercises and meditations instead of using my poor body to do it. These exercises create a safe space around me and allow me to go out into public with some measure of comfort. While they aren’t perfect, the exercises do help buffer me. With continued use, I have also begun dipping into the softness inside, the female intuition that, in the past, I tried (unsuccessfully) to eradicate. I’ve begun to safely open myself up to the stimulation around me by choice instead of by default. And, in the last four years, I have managed to accept that this sensitivity of mine is here for a reason and that it means something; it’s useful and precious. I’m now willing to let Source use it (and me) to help other people, but in a healthy manner. And, for the most part, I don’t walk around getting climbed on. If I let someone in, it’s because I want them there. : )