Tag Archives: Philosophy of Mind

Merge with Me, Honey

merge

Now for some real fun. A few friends have asked me to write on this topic because they cannot believe the level and depth at which I feel things in my lovely body and when I tell them what happens for me in relationships sometimes, it takes their breath away (their words, not mine). So, I agreed to try and capture the essence of merging. Hence, this-here post.

One of the Novels that I’m Writing on “Merging”

As some of you know, I have been writing, like, five books for seven years (or is it seven books for five years? Hmmm…doesn’t matter). For convenience sake, let’s just say that I write a crap-load of material for all kinds of applications, audiences, and usages. One of the novels on which I have been working, for years, is on this topic of merging. The working title is Le Merge or to completely “Frenchify” it, Le Fondre. But, the title will likely change, because fondre is a transitive verb and I use it like a noun. Hmmm…maybe not. Maybe I’ll keep the title.

Anyway, this book describes in vivid detail how it feels to be in my body and merging energies with other things and people; yes, it is about how it feels inside of me, but explored by way of my two main characters who live in a fantastical futuristic society where there are ample laws about pair-bonding, unions, sexuality, behaviors, etc. Sound familiar? It should.

In this book’s culture, people are only allowed one merge per life so it’s a big one. It’s, in essence, one chance to get a relationship right. One’s “merge” presents him or herself through the course of one’s life and then you are supposed to get “married” and live out your days, happily. But, of course, there are loopholes and problems and issues because it’s humanoid people we are talking about here, and well, I needed a story to write.  ; )

The core theme of the book is that when we bond with others, there is so much more happening on a psychic and body level than what most of us are able to process or to even make conscious. This unseen, unexplored, and largely ignored level of what’s happening is where my experiences come in. And, what I experience when bonded with others is apparently really different than what most other people feel because when I tell people how it feels for me, they stare at me like I have a red horn in the center of my forehead. Or, a tail. Or, both.

What is Merging?

So, let’s get into some of it. Merge…mmm….what a great word. What an unassuming and sweet little word that on the surface seems so soft, so little and like it doesn’t have very much going on with it. But, I assure you that merge is a profound, life-changing, deeply sensing word. Merge is a word that contains a hefty strata of meaning and emotion below its small, still surface; it’s a universe inside of itself. And, well, doesn’t that just sound like a whole lotta people we know?

So, what do I mean by merge? Just what the word means: To unify with another. To take something into oneself and tease apart the meaning, to open it, lay it out flat for a quick look, or to bunch it into one’s hands and deeply inhale it, to pull it inside of you. To pull experience through yourself, to pull others through the self. To feel on the level of the cells, the molecules, the center of everything.

It’s incredibly delightful and so, so delicious. Merging is the single most sensual, engaging, and deep-feeling thing in which human beings can engage. But, we don’t even know that we do it. And, some people believe that it is wrong. I had a psychic once tell me that merging is totally inappropriate, but I disagree with her. Merging, between two consenting people is awesome and transformative. It is all kinds of right and so deeply pleasurable. Again, this happens by consent, not coercion. It’s an agreement made instantly between two or more people.

How Does Merging Feel?

So, how does it feel? When I turn my attention to someone or something, the whole freaking planet tilts a little and everything gapes open instantly. Colors get brighter. Everything sharpens and becomes more outlined, more “there”. Moments pass slower but at the same time, quicker. There, right there in the room, a gauzy light blossoms up and out, feelings bound into the space between us, and in a quick-snap, loosens our bodies. When I look into another person’s face, I am peering from them and they are peering back at me from me. It’s such an astonishing sensation. I can feel other people and things inside of my body, but I feel them as if I am inside of their body simultaneously. ARG! It’s so hard to capture this with such cloggy words, but that’s basically it. That’s merging. Okay, let me try to go deeper with it:

You and me. Standing only a couple of feet apart but space means nothing because you and I are one, one body, one entity, one staggeringly beautiful consciousness, one breath breathing the room together, breathing each other together. I feel you, sir, in my legs. Your presence, full and rich inside of me, pouring into my thighs, filling my trunk, inside the whole of me, the core of me, but also, beyond this body, our body. I can feel you looking in at me and out at the world. I can feel me looking in at you and out at the world. You are me. I am you. We are each.

Until I looked into your eyes, I knew not that I was missing anything, but there it is. You, my match. A piece that I was missing until now, a part of myself returned to me. And, when we touch each other, oh, God. The planet fades. We speed out of that moment and become light, bending into molecules and atoms and quarks and potential, becoming breath, undulating from the dense physical into the vastness of space, together and apart, co-mingled, merged, and still us, but at one with all of creation. Yep, that’s it. Merging.

It is RARE

Merging happens to me with only the right people, people who are a match with me energetically. It is immensely rare and precious. I have only had this happen a small number of times, but each time, it’s better than the last, it’s deeper than the last.  I most often merge with animals or nature. I can do this with planetary essences must easier than with people but when it happens with people, oh, it is so fun, so mystical, and wonderful.

What about you? Does this happen to you? What do you make of this phenom? Does anyone know what this is called or if there is an equivalent in the metaphysical realms?

Y R U SO FAT?

yrusofat

Do you remember Richard Simmons and his license plate that spelled out YRUSOFAT (or something similar to that)? I always crack up when I think of this. I always smile when I think of Simmons’ valiant efforts to help people tackle their weight issues. He was a pioneer in the field of weight loss, by way of exercise. He was flamboyant (still is), funny, and oh, so chipper. I appreciated his methodologies and his humor. But, the thing is: he and every other person out there, trying to help others change their bodies by way of exercise or dieting are going at it from a less-than-effective foundation.

I know. That’s a very bold statement. Lemme explain.

If lasting weight-loss was simply an issue of taking action–you know, as in, exercising, getting gastric by-pass surgery, or dieting–we would all be thin. But, we are not thin. And, when most of us lose weight, after a time, we see it come right back on and then some. For example, I once knew a lovely woman who weighed 280 pounds and got what I feel is an incredibly violent method of weight loss–gastric by-pass surgery–, lost 130 pounds in the first year and by year two, managed to whittle herself down to 110 pounds, only to see the weight and then some come back on in years three through five. She ended up at 340 pounds, without hope, and deeply, savagely depressed. My heart broke for her. It’s simply devastating to be that morbidly, dangerously obese and to have something like this happen. It’s awful to believe that something will work for you and then have to face such an incredibly visual, public failure.

The problem is not that we do not move enough, try hard enough, diet enough, or work enough. Lord knows that we do. Fat people work harder than anyone else at losing weight and trying, striving, killing themselves to be thinner. Hell, we “weight lift” just crossing a room. But, in my thinking, it’s not about taking action; it’s about something else. It’s about responsibility. The core problem is that a majority of people do not take utter and complete responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, emanations, and lives.

Now, before you lamb-baste me for saying this, just consider that it’s possible.

While you know that I don’t often focus on the negative, there are times where I need to dip into the inky-human-darkness in order to get to a solution. So, here’s the take-away: Many of us act like victims. We think like victims. We believe that we’re victims. We’re victims of genetics or our thighs or our big ears or our relationships. We believe that we have no control over what “God gave us”. For the most part, we believe that our bodies are out to get us and that we’re at the whims of nature, genetics, or our early upbringing. We continually look backwards and point to the ways that we were damaged or betrayed.

We blame the body for holding us back, embarrassing us, or keeping us apart from others. We refuse to take ownership of our thoughts and emotions. We uses statements like: “He makes me so mad” and “She makes me want to scream” instead of realizing that no one can make you do anything. That reaction inside of you is a choice. Those statements could, with some consciousness and awareness be replaced with “I feel so mad right now”. Or, When I talk with her, all kinds of emotions come up inside of me. I wonder what that’s all about?” These are examples of taking responsibility for our feelings.

For the most part, human beings refuse to accept that we manifest reality by way of our thoughts, our attention, our utterances, our feelings. We do not question what we were taught by parents, parents who, in a majority of cases, had very little mastery over what they were doing. We know this. Most of us came from childhood situations that were dysfunctional in key areas.

We’re largely taught to look outward for our answers. We are told “ask God,” “pray,” or, worse, “do as I say” (parents say this alot). We’re raised to constantly look outside of ourselves and to look to other people for clues about how we’re doing, instead of being taught to go inward, self-analyze, take an inventory of how we’re feeling, and to consider how our behaviors affect different situations and the results we receive. We’re largely taught that emotions are suspect, our thoughts are “just thoughts”.

And, this wide-spread human reluctance to question what we’re taught and analyze and accept our own answers is why we’re often in victim-mode and why we cannot affect a lasting, positive change with our bodies. This is not to say that working out isn’t a good idea; it just can’t replace or fix our core issues. This is not to say that fitness coaches and other people in the health industry are not doing a good job or helping people, they are. But, there are only so many results one can get from dominating the body with exercise and adhering to stringent food restrictions without addressing the emotional self in tandem.

What we need are deep, core-level changes. We need to penetrate our own psychology. We need to question what we were taught and abandon the ideas that don’t serve us now or at least analyze them and see if there is still a fit. We might do well to take ownership of our emotions and embrace them, not distance ourselves from them. We need to understand the physics involved with our being electromagnetic creators. We would be greatly served by understanding our role in creating physical matter by way of our thinking and embracing that we are not victims of any circumstance, ever.

No fitness coach in the world can truly help a person, who seeks to address bodily issues, without addressing the emotional person, the thinking person, the feeling person, the psychology of the person. Until we begin addressing the core reasons for our reactions and take responsibility for the quality of our lives, whether good or bad, we cannot supersede our station in life in a lasting manner.

The answer is to go inward. Think. Ponder our quality of life. Ask our body for answers. Talk with our higher power, if that’s our belief system. Meditate. Seek help at times, but ultimately know that the answers you seek lie within you and no construct of man, from religion to strength-training can give you the answers to questions that you are not willing to ask. This is an inside job. No one outside of you can do for you what you cannot (or refuse) to do for yourself. The answer lies in looking into the darkness of the psyche and holding your ground, asking yourself why you feel the way you do, what are you being asked to learn and getting as comfortable with the inner processes of your existence as you are with the outward.

When fitness coaches start encouraging this approach, we will make quantum leaps forward as a species and not just in the arena of body shape. Until that time, getting to a place of self-acceptance is the best that we can do. What are your thoughts? Am I out of my tree? Tell me what you think. ~All my love and light to you, BigLizzy

“Fat Talk:” Most Women Do It

Body lovers! I just read a very interesting article on something called “fat talk”. What is fat talk? According to psychologists, fat talk is a social phenomenon in which most women and girls routinely engage; it consists of the negative body comments that we females make during conversations.

fat-talk

While men also engage in this activity, it’s far more prevalent among women. Quel supris! Fat talk is the stuff that we say to each other about our bodies when trying on clothes, for example, or the things that we utter when talking about the latest fashions (that we know we will never fit into) or what we say when we compare our physiques to other people’s. We say things like: “I wish my butt wasn’t so poochy” or “One of my boobs is bigger than the other and I hate it” or “Why do I have to have such thunder thighs? or “You look so good in those pants; I wish I looked as good as you.” This kind of talk is very, very common among women and it’s super damaging to our psyches and I argue, our actual bodies.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that women (many, many women), heavily dislike their bodies or aspects of their bodies and they talk about that fact. Often. This makes me so sad. In the past, I also did this a great deal with my girlfriends. I remember uttering phrases that were incredibly cruel about my body. I complained about how muscular I was and how “German-looking” I was. I complained about being fat (when I weighed a mere 155 pounds). I complained about being  too big of leg and too small of boob. **sigh**

I absolutely cringe now to think of all of the negative thoughts and statements that I hurtled at my beloved body and her various parts. It seriously creeps me out and sends a dark **chill down my spine** to know that for years I thought nothing of openly and vocally criticizing my body for various real and perceived “problems”. If you are a woman and reading this, I bet you have similar recollections of similar discussions about your body.

In my opinion, here’s the worst part of fat talk: Our bodies listen to us. Intently. It’s true. They hear every word, every thought directed toward them. If the statements that we make are negative, our bodies suffer. They do. In my belief system, our bodies have their own consciousness. Yes, it’s a consciousness that is closely linked and entwined with our psyche, soul, and ego-based personalities, but the body has its own gig and agenda. The body has its own ecosystem, it’s own management system, it’s own reality that’s largely disregarded and consciously unavailable to most of us.

Because the body has its own life, wishes, desires, reactions, and solutions, they are often frustrated with the person inhabiting them and the choices that that person is making. For example, I used to know a psychic holistic health practitioner who could readily connect with a person’s body and tell them what their various body parts were saying when imbalance had set in. It was fascinating to hear her say to me: “Well, your knee is really displeased with you for the the things you’ve been saying about her. She can’t help the damage that you did to her in your early 20s. She is pretty ticked off at you.”

I sat there stunned and thought: “Wait! I didn’t come in for a problem with my knee. But, yeah, I was just telling Susan about how my ‘bad knee’ affects my ability to do yoga. Son of a gun!”. This experience displaced my entire understanding of the body. Going to see this health practitioner deepened my dialog with the body. And, it helped me to see that yeah, our bodies actually listen to us and have their own reaction to the things we think and say out loud.  When I followed the practitioner’s advice and assured my body that I was listening and addressing the problems, things really calmed down. I could feel a shift inside from some deep place and my inflammation would go away, sometimes pretty miraculously.

Here’s the thing: We are inhabiting these immensely complex, elegant, and miraculous physical bodies that respond to every thought that we think. We are here in the physical to do something in the spiritual. We know this whether we have an organized theology or not. The body is the part of the path through our process of expansion as souls. There is absolutely tons of evidence out there, in an exhaustively wide variety of scholarly and spiritual media, which confirms a very real and visceral mind-body connection.

We know that that the mind is capable of eliciting tremendous feats of strength, endurance, and even healing from within the body. We know that we are electromagnetic beings who emanate energy into the ether by way of our physicality. If you don’t believe me, walk into a room in a bad mood and watch your dog or cat’s reaction to you. Ya! it’s real. We know that the thoughts we think affect our health because we can measure it, quantify it, and document it. We know this. We have proven that negative thoughts negatively affect water molecules and positive thoughts positively affect the structure of water molecules. We understand that our emotions create reactions inside our bodies for good or bad.

Doesn’t it then stand to reason that the words we use to describe our physical bodies would affect not only our physiology but potentially trigger other people’s reactions to their own bodies? Think about that. The words that we so carelessly push into the world are registered; they are recorded. They are chronicled. They are living. Where? In the body. In the ducts, cells, and ligaments. These statements live in the mind of the body. They are stored in the gut. They travel the circulatory system. They are tiny emotional pockets of destruction (or creation) depending on intent. And our bodies are wise to our sh*t.

Why are we women so flippin’ adversarial with our bodes? Without the body, we can’t be here. Without a healthy body, we cannot easily achieve a happy life. Without the body in all of its various states of health, we cannot expand as a consciousness. It’s time for us all to think about what we are saying to the body and think about what we are pushing into the world with our words.

Let’s teach our young women this. Let’s individually and collectively send a message to other females that it takes all kinds of bodies to be here and we are all beautiful and miraculous. Let’s stop talking and start asking the body to tell us what it wants. My body at the moment wants cake, but that’s just me. ; ) Please help me help the women of this world feel good about themselves. Start with you. And, I’ll keep working it from this angle.

Welcome to the Quiet Revolution

you don’t know me yet, but you will. soon. my name is self-esteem. i hang around at the periphery of most people’s lives, especially women’s lives. but, that is all going to change, eventually, because this entity, self-esteem, is going to start a quiet, earnest revolution, a ripple in people’s thinking, a wave of new consciousness, a profound shift.

how, you ask? simple. i, self-esteem, am going to remind other people of their decisions, their freedom, their energy, their attitudes, their power and show them that all of these become the body. body is beautiful, body is necessary to expansion, to exploration of the earth plane, and thus, it should be celebrated, not hated. join me. let’s change our thinking. let’s change this world. let’s love instead of hate. yours truly, self-esteem.

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