Tag Archives: past lives

Put the Needle In

I’m an addict. I freely admit it. I’ve had this problem for a very long time. Um, lifetimes. I’ve struggled and battled with a pervasive, all-encompassing urge, a hot need inside of me that feels larger than the sun.  When I rest my head, it’s there whispering through me, easing me to sleep, asking me to give myself over to it. When I wake up, it’s there softly chanting in my blood, singing from the edges of my consciousness, pulling me into another day of deep feeling and longing.

Every face I peer into tells me about this desire of mine. I see it in other people’s eyes, I can taste it from the air around them. Every time I stop for a few moments, the tingle of this thing washes through my body, stirs my mind. It’s an invocation, an asking from my highest self. It’s a relentless voice at the core of me, asking…asking.

I’ve tried (unsuccessfully) to push past it, brush it aside, ignore its plea, stay out of its way, but it always catches me. It always catches up. I’ve gone into each living day full of hope that I can beat it, that I will not make the same choices, but I know that I won’t beat it. I will choose this over and over. I won’t beat this thing. Even when I rail to the heavens and ask why I came back here to this place, I know that I’ll succumb. Again. I always do.

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What is this addiction of mine? Living. Despite the pain it causes. Despite the heartbreak. Despite the loss. Despite the countless, exhausting, relentless, and charmingly beautiful experiences chronicled inside of my soul (Akashic records), I come back to this loathsome, but breathtaking planet over and over and over. I’m addicted to being in a body. I’m addicted to life. I’m addicted to feelings and thoughts and other people. And, like all addictions, there are all kinds of results.

Now, before you roast me for being cavalier about addiction, which I assure you, I’m not being, and have had my struggles with (work addiction, anyone?), hear me out. In my belief system, we humans plan lots and lots of details about each life we enter into before we get here. We sit in a classroom of sorts, with our guides, and choose core parameters around each life and the lessons on which we hope to work for each incarnation. We do not plan down to the minutia, but we place high-level markers in our path for specific lessons that we want to “advance” or “master” in a particular lifetime. We place agreements with other souls, in our plan, so that these people will come into our path and work with us on advancing. Yes, we make agreements with the so-called “good” people and the “bad”. We invite all of it.

We control lots of aspects of living before we live yet again. And, then we come in, hit some of the markers, live the experiences, and do our work of advancing as souls. None of life experience is “bad”. None of the stuff we do is “wrong”, nor for that matter is any of it “right”; it just is. We come in, live the plan (roughly) or deviate from it wildly, in some cases, and gain from it all. Our consciousness expands and grows and ripens with each experience. All of life experience serves us on a soul level. And, we ask for all of it, even the bad stuff.

When we are out of bodies, it all makes perfect sense, this pain, this torture, life’s hardships, and the joys. When we are in bodies and solely focusing from within an incarnation, however, life sucks so bad at times, we hate ourselves and every living thing on the planet. We struggle. We are stunned, injured, happy, depressed, angry, joyous, sad. Life hurts. Bad. Life is also excruciatingly gorgeous, heady, and beautiful. But, it hurts more than it is beautiful, in my experiences.

So, how does all of this relate to addiction? Ha, glad you asked. I, my friends, am addicted to life. I’m addicted to coming in here and going another round. I’m a classic “A-type-overachiever-perfectionist.” And, I know that these traits are core to my soul signature like I know that I have a physical face. I know that I choose really difficult lifetimes so I can advance “faster” but in so doing, I make myself pretty damn miserable. Alot. For, like, lifetimes.

How do I know this? My guides gave me the entire “download” one day as I sat talking about life lessons and reincarnation with my bestie. Behind my eyes, without warning, I saw a vision of me, an amorphous blob of soul sitting at a table, pouring over my records, and saying with a childlike exuberance:

“Oooo…ooo! I know! I’ll come in and be abused. YES! That’s what I’ll do. My mother will be a monster and she’ll help me work on trust, so let’s mark that down. I’ll then have incest experiences with a psychotic/sociopathic stepfather and my narcissistic brother and then, oooo!! I’ll be raped at age 12 and then go anorexic! Yes. THEN! I’ll have an abusive first husband and after that, I’ll get really fat and be workaholic and try to work myself to death at a young age…”

Yep, the entire thing played out for me in my third eye in a hot flash. I knew it was the truth because I heavily edit my “psychic ability” and ordinarily do not let things like this through. But, it busted through my firewall like nobody’s business. I “saw it” all before I could clamp down on it. And, then, I started laughing so hard because in that moment, I got total clarity. That moment led to others in which I was able to then see the decisions that I made and take utter responsibility for my path, my pain, my problems, my choices. It also led me to deeper understanding of my wiring, in this life and many, many others.

So, here’s the truth: I load up my plate with all kinds of pain and hardship before I get here and then when I get here, I bitch about the choices that I made in my planning. I bitch about how my life if going because it hurts. It’s true. I get here and forget that I’m eternal. I get here and I forget that all of “life” is an illusion and the real stuff is what happens outside of life (and in the soul). Life is just a play that is playing out on a stage of my own creation and I can change every aspect of it or none of it. I get here and forget that no matter what choices I make, I am loved beyond measure. We all are, by the way. I get here and complain that “life is too hard” or “my body hurts too much” or “that person is disrespectful” or, “why do I keep coming back here” or a real biggie for me, “I can’t advance fast enough”.

Shit, man. I am so good at bellyaching. And, this complaining that I do keeps me in victim mode. So, the first few steps in changing this pattern is to accept that I’m addicted to living, embrace that I’m getting what I need from my lifetimes, no matter how challenging they are, and writing this blog post to tell on myself. I want to accept that I am a spiritual being having physical experiences and that I will reincarnate, out of choice, not force. I want to stop pushing against my spirit guides, stop threatening them for sending me back here. I want to stop pushing against my psychic ability, my true nature. I want to embrace my lives and extract every ounce of precious learning that I can and I want to be okay with the pain. Truly okay with it.

In 2012, I got really, really sick: lung embolisms, a huge clot in my right leg (due to birth control pills), severe anemia, gallbladder loss, an ablation to my uterus, surgery for a filter to be placed in my vena cava, then an unsuccessful surgery to remove the filter seven weeks later (on and on). It was a crazy few months. I think part of that journey was a planned “way out” for me, a window that I worked in prior to getting here where I could “pop out” if I wanted to. Part of me didn’t want to face the rest of my work, even more work, the hard stuff that I’m now actively doing. But, I chose to stay. I’m still here.

I’m not afraid of dying. I mean, I have moments where it kinda freaks me out, but I have a strong sense that I’ve lived before and I’ll live again. I have this sense because I’m so close to the veil between here and there. I’m so close to the Other Side that “death” doesn’t scare me. What scares me is reincarnating again and going through this crap again and being in physical and emotional pain again.

A psychologist friend of mine, Robert, said to me recently (when I was… yes, you guessed it, bitching) “You’ll stop incarnating when you no longer care that you do”. Ha! Son of a… Ahhhh…the sweet truth, in a tidy little package of delicate little words, from a guru. God, how I love that man. Anyway, yes. he’s right. When I embrace my addiction to living, have gotten everything I need from it, come back here just to serve others, and question not what creator sends me in to do, then and only then will I no longer come back and face ever-grueling, painful, but illuminating and precious life in a body.

So, from the bottom of my bottomless soul, I say to each of you: “Hi, I’m Elizabeth H. ‘Liz’ Casey, aka, BigLizzy, and I am an addict”.

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There’s Nothing to Fear Here, Peeps, Part Two

Did you manage to unclench your tushy? Are you relaxed, open, engaged? Feeling happy? Good. Let’s go into this topic a bit more. As we all pondered together so nicely in Part One of this two-part post, there is ultimately nothing to fear from life on planet earth because:

  • We are collectively asking for a deeper awareness, a global, human-wide shift in consciousness and it is happening.
  • Evidence of mankind’s divinity is sprinkled throughout the world’s religions, books, artworks, meditations, and sacred texts.
  • We are vastly powerful electromagnetic/spiritual beings who are here for the sole (soul) purpose of expanding our consciousness, remembering our divinity, and to love.
  • Our expansion takes many forms, many passes to get it honed, and many permutations. There is nothing to fear in this process. We get the time, energy, and support to do the job of living and we live over and over.
  • We each made a life plan before we got here and are doing a wonderful job of working to our plan no matter the current circumstances of our lives.
  • We humans create reality, all of it (down to the tiniest detail; quantum physics pretty-much points to (proves) this; more on this topic in a future post).

background_heartSo, this means that you (we all) are safe. You are protected. You are guided by a team of people (energy beings) who stay on the Other Side while you incarnate and who support you, encourage you, and love you no matter what choices you make. You are helped at every step of the way. You are regarded, loved, and revered by God/Goddess/Source Energy for your contribution to the larger good, the collective expansion, no matter what you are doing, saying, living, or expressing. By being alive on the planet right now, you are here taking one for the larger human team because you are working through your issues, feeling your feelings, growing in each and every moment, making mistakes, learning from your mistakes, changing your behaviors for the better (ultimately) and getting closer to the truth, your truth.

Here’s the best part:

You do not fail at this. None of us can fail at this. We never get an “F” at the end of life. NONE of us fail. Not even the murderers. Yeah, I know. That’s an inflammatory statement for many people and it will cause reactions that range from “yeah” to “hell-the-eff-no!” But, that’s the beauty of beliefs. They are different for everyone. Anyway, maybe the murderers fail at compassion and they certainly fail in other people’s eyes while we’re all here and hashing it out together. They fail at sticking to a better plan for themselves and they cause lots of pain and unhappiness, but in my belief system, they—we all choose negative incarnations as one option in many and at one time or another. We all choose the negative so we can learn our way toward the positive.

Yes, we all pay some kind of price at the end, but it’s one of self-analysis and self-judgement, not judgement from on high. We are not judged by a supreme deity who demands obedience, submission, compliance, or piety and who, based on our actions in one measly life, sends us up or down. Not in my belief system anyway. God is way cooler than that and way more permissive than that.

Proof of These Assertions? For me, yes!

So, the one thing that you must do, if you are at all interested in piecing together the assertions in these two posts, is read the fascinating books by Michael Newton, PhD.
The books are Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls. I read them with every hair standing up on my head. Literally, these two volumes changed my life, very swiftly and dramatically.

By reading just 20 pages in Journey of Souls, I was instantly freed from my horrible childhood, a childhood that had included awful physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I was instantly released from the trauma, pain, and anxiety of my early years and I was freed from my long-standing disdain for my family unit. I instantly understood why all of it happened and further, how it all added to who I had become. These works explained everything so clearly, so pointedly, and so poignantly that I wept in relief and gratitude as I read. These books are amazing. And, they go a very long way toward proving what I’m asserting here.JOS

Mr. Newton is a highly educated psychotherapist who began investigating the use of hypnosis as a means of helping patients get past deeply ingrained emotional and mental “blockages”. Despite years of therapy and learning in great detail about how they themselves tick, some of his patients never seemed to progress. He observed that many of his clients would never seem to get past certain destructive “entrenched” behaviors. For example, they repeated the same relationships over and over. They repeated the same mistakes over and over. They had the same traumas over and over and those decisions that they were chronically making were adversely impacting their ability to heal, grow, prosper, be lastingly happy, or advance in therapy.

Newton’s quest to help people led him to become a licensed hypnotherapist and in the course of working with various patients who were open to using hypnotherapy in their healing, he discovered that he was incredibly good at regressing patients. Newton began chronicling his hypnosis practices and recording his patients’ sessions and then he made an astounding discovery. As he got better at regressing people, he noticed that all of the patients began talking, in vivid detail, about their previous lives. newton-instituteNewton, once a rather sober, scientific, and “show-me-the-proof,” learned man became a believer in reincarnation because the evidence was so irrefutable.

This man personally regressed some 10 thousand patients and before he retired, he trained therapists all over the world in his practices so that the work could continue. The “Souls” books chronicle many, many case-studies of patients who have visited past lives in therapy and also explored the in-between lives planning that we all undertake before we adopt new bodies. And, it’s worth mentioning that not all of Newton’s patients necessarily believed in reincarnation or had any propensity toward non-traditional belief systems. They were from all walks of life, all religious persuasions, all corners of the globe. But, one thing united them: Their very similar stories of “The Other Side” and what happens over there and the healthful benefits of this therapy. All of them were freed from the past “blockages” that had previously so plagued them and limited their healing.

Here’s what I know. We are well. We are safe. We are immortal. Our souls know what we are doing here at all times. We have a team of people helping us on this journey called life and for every life we enter into. We are not wrong. We are not sinners. We are not misguided or flawed or failures. We are not bad. None of us. If we have pain in our lives, it is up to each one of us to walk forward into the pain and learn from it. We can do this. We create our reality and we are powerful magnets for all life circumstances. There is proof of this all around us, all we have to do is entertain the notion that this could be true and begin looking, really looking.

Our “bad parents” or “bad spouses” or “shitty bosses” are our greatest allies because they help us expand. They agree to come in with us, be the adversary, and be the impetus for us to learn and grow. Our enemies are our greatest friends because they are willing to be the bad guy so that we get clear on who we are, our very real power, and our very active role in shaping our consciousness and lives. There is nothing to fear here on the earth plane. Every circumstance adds to who we are and we control a helluva lot more of it than we think. It’s all working out for the best even when it’s appears to be the worst. We got this. 🙂