Tag Archives: culture

In a Famine, My A$$ Could Feed Me for Weeks

Make no mistake. My arse has a plethora of healing powers. Ask anyone who knows me. It’s a magic a$$. It’s an epic shelf of protection, the very source of my earthly powers. Ha!! I joke, but it’s literally a fact that due to my “largess” in the hindquarters region, I would outlive lots of people in a famine. I might even outlive the famine. Fat is a good thing. It nourishes, protects, heals, heats, and feeds. It’s necessary to life. We all have it.lizzys_tush

People often talk about the unhealthiness of being fat, but rarely do you see reports of the good that being a chunky-monkey can do for one in this world of ours. Well, I’m here to set the record straight (or, curvy as the case so clearly is for so many of us). Following are three pluses of being…well, plus.

one

Fat is actually healthy and being overweight leads to longer life for lots and lots of people. Being overweight is even cited as a boon for fertility, better skin, calmer dispositions, stronger bones, and sounder minds. Despite rampant reports that being fat equals automatic heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes, it’s simply not true for lots of people. Studies are coming out all of the time that disprove the “Fat is Always Bad” prejudice.

Unfortunately, what we have in this country is a media monster. This monster spreads misinformation so pervasively and so routinely that few people ever take the time to question, let alone challenge the assertions being made by these misinformed souls. One of the falsities that the media perpetuates is that being fat is universally bad or will lead to bad things down the road. Not true.

We all know that life is much more complex than soundbites and selling news would have us believe, isn’t it? There are way more nuances across the wide spectrum called human health than these media monsters portray. I encourage you all to dig a little deeper. Like anything in life, there are extremes at either end of a particular spectrum. And, unfortunately, these extremes are the most cited as, Du-Du-Dum! Evidence by the media monster.

But, most of us are in the middle somewhere and we know that “the middle” does not sell newspapers, television shows, or magazines. Yes, some people who are fat suffer from the results of that bodily state, but fat does not automatically equal unhealthy and sad, nor does thin automatically equal healthy and happy.

It takes all kinds of shapes, sizes, and experiences to be human and we all have a relevance to the human collective. Bodies are merely vehicles for the exploration of spirit. Your body is the way it is for a reason. If your body didn’t need to be fat or thin, it wouldn’t be. So. There. You’re free. Go forth in your new-found freedom, forget the size of your body, move into soul, find ways to be healthier every day, and be the bad-ass human you came here to be. We’re counting on you.

twoI’ve talked about this before in other posts, but being plus size is an invisibility cloak.  You can get away with alot of shi*t as a fat person. I test this all of the time and it always makes me laugh. As big as I am, I can get in and out of places without ever being seen. It’s the coolest phenomena. I literally walk right past people who, because of what I can only guess are their own prejudices and general insecurity about their body size, do not see me. And, this, my friends, comes in really, really handy. For example, when wanting to merely run into a store and grab something quick without a long, protracted discussion or “connection” with someone, being fat is awesome. It’s freedom. People don’t look at me. And, you know what, that’s okay. I actually like stealth mode.

No fighting to be seen. No more getting other people to validate me or even acknowledge my existence. I get to practice being enough for myself, break the dependency between myself and others, and push deeper into my own psyche, my own healing. It’s liberating.

So. If you’re fat, try to have some fun with it. Know that you are broadcasting an energy beam around the issue and if you look for disapproval in the world, you will find it. If you instead look for ways to validate yourself every day, eventually you will have self-esteem and you will manifest approval from the world in lots of ways. If you can, try to laugh as much as possible and know that other people do not matter one little eensy bit. It’s YOUR opinion that counts. Be stealth. And, giggle. Alot.

threeIf we are totally, totally honest with ourselves and we dig past the societal biases that we’ve maybe absorbed about fat, I bet more than a few of us would be very surprised to realize that we actually like a little cushioning versus bones or rock-hard muscle. Fat is very, very comforting. It’s silly; it jiggles and wiggles. It’s fun to grab and poke and handle. Fat is pleasing to us psychologically because it’s about nurturing; it’s about the mama, being held, being warm, and gently soothed. Fat is comfortable, encircling, engulfing, and just a delightful, never-ending softness. Fat definitely broadcasts a message of fertility, abundance, and pleasure.

This fat phobia of ours is a very recent cultural phenom. Up until the 1920s when the country was becoming enthralled with industry, being a bit fat was okay. Farm people were fatter. They needed to be to work the fields. Women were expected to be fat because they made babies. But, with the choke-hold of the industrial revolution, came the idolization of the “machine”, the “hard”, the “thin”, and along with it swept in the idolization of a thinner body type.

The thing is, world-wide, until modern times, fat has always been viewed as wealth, abundance, comfort, and something to celebrate. This fat phobia of ours is a modern construct. It’s time to be honest. If you don’t like fat, ask yourself why. Do a little digging around in your psyche. But, ask yourself if your ideas about body structure are truly your own or if you have absorbed the ideas from other people. Touch your fat and see what comes up for you. Journal about it. Ask and ask and ask. I bet you’ll be surprised by the journey. Oh, and READ THIS BOOK that I blogged about early on in the life of BBB. You gotta read this book; it will change your ideas about Fat. Guaranteed.

There are many more very real, life-affirming benefits of being fat, but ultimately, this blog is not advocating that people become fat. I’m advocating for the journey toward self-esteem, regardless of how you look or what your bodily conditions are. I’m advocating for self-acceptance because I want us, as a species, to accept others, expand our consciousness, and become healthy. I want us all to be well-fed, happy, and taking responsibility. I want us to own our power, be a force of good on this earth, and love. I want us to love. Even our fat.

 

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Y R U SO FAT?

yrusofat

Do you remember Richard Simmons and his license plate that spelled out YRUSOFAT (or something similar to that)? I always crack up when I think of this. I always smile when I think of Simmons’ valiant efforts to help people tackle their weight issues. He was a pioneer in the field of weight loss, by way of exercise. He was flamboyant (still is), funny, and oh, so chipper. I appreciated his methodologies and his humor. But, the thing is: he and every other person out there, trying to help others change their bodies by way of exercise or dieting are going at it from a less-than-effective foundation.

I know. That’s a very bold statement. Lemme explain.

If lasting weight-loss was simply an issue of taking action–you know, as in, exercising, getting gastric by-pass surgery, or dieting–we would all be thin. But, we are not thin. And, when most of us lose weight, after a time, we see it come right back on and then some. For example, I once knew a lovely woman who weighed 280 pounds and got what I feel is an incredibly violent method of weight loss–gastric by-pass surgery–, lost 130 pounds in the first year and by year two, managed to whittle herself down to 110 pounds, only to see the weight and then some come back on in years three through five. She ended up at 340 pounds, without hope, and deeply, savagely depressed. My heart broke for her. It’s simply devastating to be that morbidly, dangerously obese and to have something like this happen. It’s awful to believe that something will work for you and then have to face such an incredibly visual, public failure.

The problem is not that we do not move enough, try hard enough, diet enough, or work enough. Lord knows that we do. Fat people work harder than anyone else at losing weight and trying, striving, killing themselves to be thinner. Hell, we “weight lift” just crossing a room. But, in my thinking, it’s not about taking action; it’s about something else. It’s about responsibility. The core problem is that a majority of people do not take utter and complete responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, emanations, and lives.

Now, before you lamb-baste me for saying this, just consider that it’s possible.

While you know that I don’t often focus on the negative, there are times where I need to dip into the inky-human-darkness in order to get to a solution. So, here’s the take-away: Many of us act like victims. We think like victims. We believe that we’re victims. We’re victims of genetics or our thighs or our big ears or our relationships. We believe that we have no control over what “God gave us”. For the most part, we believe that our bodies are out to get us and that we’re at the whims of nature, genetics, or our early upbringing. We continually look backwards and point to the ways that we were damaged or betrayed.

We blame the body for holding us back, embarrassing us, or keeping us apart from others. We refuse to take ownership of our thoughts and emotions. We uses statements like: “He makes me so mad” and “She makes me want to scream” instead of realizing that no one can make you do anything. That reaction inside of you is a choice. Those statements could, with some consciousness and awareness be replaced with “I feel so mad right now”. Or, When I talk with her, all kinds of emotions come up inside of me. I wonder what that’s all about?” These are examples of taking responsibility for our feelings.

For the most part, human beings refuse to accept that we manifest reality by way of our thoughts, our attention, our utterances, our feelings. We do not question what we were taught by parents, parents who, in a majority of cases, had very little mastery over what they were doing. We know this. Most of us came from childhood situations that were dysfunctional in key areas.

We’re largely taught to look outward for our answers. We are told “ask God,” “pray,” or, worse, “do as I say” (parents say this alot). We’re raised to constantly look outside of ourselves and to look to other people for clues about how we’re doing, instead of being taught to go inward, self-analyze, take an inventory of how we’re feeling, and to consider how our behaviors affect different situations and the results we receive. We’re largely taught that emotions are suspect, our thoughts are “just thoughts”.

And, this wide-spread human reluctance to question what we’re taught and analyze and accept our own answers is why we’re often in victim-mode and why we cannot affect a lasting, positive change with our bodies. This is not to say that working out isn’t a good idea; it just can’t replace or fix our core issues. This is not to say that fitness coaches and other people in the health industry are not doing a good job or helping people, they are. But, there are only so many results one can get from dominating the body with exercise and adhering to stringent food restrictions without addressing the emotional self in tandem.

What we need are deep, core-level changes. We need to penetrate our own psychology. We need to question what we were taught and abandon the ideas that don’t serve us now or at least analyze them and see if there is still a fit. We might do well to take ownership of our emotions and embrace them, not distance ourselves from them. We need to understand the physics involved with our being electromagnetic creators. We would be greatly served by understanding our role in creating physical matter by way of our thinking and embracing that we are not victims of any circumstance, ever.

No fitness coach in the world can truly help a person, who seeks to address bodily issues, without addressing the emotional person, the thinking person, the feeling person, the psychology of the person. Until we begin addressing the core reasons for our reactions and take responsibility for the quality of our lives, whether good or bad, we cannot supersede our station in life in a lasting manner.

The answer is to go inward. Think. Ponder our quality of life. Ask our body for answers. Talk with our higher power, if that’s our belief system. Meditate. Seek help at times, but ultimately know that the answers you seek lie within you and no construct of man, from religion to strength-training can give you the answers to questions that you are not willing to ask. This is an inside job. No one outside of you can do for you what you cannot (or refuse) to do for yourself. The answer lies in looking into the darkness of the psyche and holding your ground, asking yourself why you feel the way you do, what are you being asked to learn and getting as comfortable with the inner processes of your existence as you are with the outward.

When fitness coaches start encouraging this approach, we will make quantum leaps forward as a species and not just in the arena of body shape. Until that time, getting to a place of self-acceptance is the best that we can do. What are your thoughts? Am I out of my tree? Tell me what you think. ~All my love and light to you, BigLizzy

Three “Big-A$$” (heh, heh) Reasons to Share this Blog

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Helllooooo, all of you fine, body-acceptin’ humans! It occurred to me that if we are going to start and maintain a “revolution” of the body-lovin’ variety, we need more peeps in the loop. We need to spread the message. I cannot do this alone. I need my body-adorin’ posse to show up. So, toward that end, I offer you the following, compelling reasons for sharing this blog.

Reason #1: You want to help others

It’s clear that you are compassionate. You are present. You care about your friends and family. You see others as beautiful no matter what they wear, weigh, say, or do. While that’s abundantly evident and a core part of your life, you know that many of your friends and family could benefit from a small shift in focus, a new way to view physicality, a slight change in how they think. You know that getting to a higher plateau, a deeper, more tranquil relationship with the body would truly help others and would positively impact many different areas of their lives. Nothing would delight you more than seeing your friends and loved-ones begin (or continue) the process of loving themselves as much as you love them.

  • Simply put: Helping others to accept themselves feels good. It feels good to love others and to see them prosper. It feels good to give others an avenue through deeper healing, deeper being. Let’s do this together. Let’s help other people. : )

Reason #2: Body-hating is contributing to many social ills and it’s time to fix it 

Look around. All around us are massive-piles of evidence that point to mankind’s reluctance to accept and honor the body, its needs, its messages, its wants. This mass-decision (and delusion) is threatening humanity’s lasting happiness and I argue our continued survival. With everything from dense, antiquated, and unrealistic religious edicts about the body’s various sins, transgressions, and uncleanliness, to modern advertisements that beg women to hide their skin, smells, and bodily functions with chemical-laden, unhealthy, and frankly, dangerous products, it’s so clear that we have a serious problem here.

We, as a species, largely disapprove of or flat-out hate our bodies. For many people, this hatred permeates every aspect of life. It creates an adversarial basis to everything that we do. For, as we know, from within, comes the basis of all outer manifestation. If that inner terrain is rife with angst, anxiety, and disdain for our bodies and by proxy, others, how can we fully and happily live? How can we accept others? How can we truly be at peace?

If we are to evolve as a species and become creators and not victims, we simply must vanquish this pervasive body disdain, because it is the wellspring from which bubble many of our most vexing human problems, problems that range from mental and emotional to physical and behavioral. Some examples of the most damaging social ills include: child abuse, murder, self-destruction, drug abuse, damage to the earth, crime, and misuse of power (among many others); these problems are pointing to, at bottom, a mistrust of the body, either our own or others’. I’m not saying that body hatred is the root cause of these social ills, but in my estimation, it’s a key component of everything that is “wrong with humanity”.

If we do not accept the body, our full self, in all of its qualities, we cannot truly ever accept other people. We cannot walk softly on the earth or honor the earth-mother’s body. We cannot advance spiritually. We cannot love fully and deeply like we are designed to do. If we choose to neglect or hate our bodies, we cannot form lasting, peaceful relations with other cultures or life forms. In my humble opinion, this is the biggest threat to mankind’s survival.

  • Simply put: Hating the body is not okay. Subscribing to a religion or belief system that illustrates a shame or disdain about the natural processes of the body and teaches about the body’s supposed uncleanliness or depravity is to be questioned and if needed, quickly and thoroughly abandoned. This no longer serves us as a species. It’s time to take ownership of our beliefs and behaviors. It’s time to question our ideologies and ask why we believe what we are taught. It is time for free-thinking, people. Not life-damaging, body-desecrating dogma.

Reason #3: It’s time to embrace that we are powerful creators and can be the change that all of humanity needs

So many of us keep doing the same stuff over and over. We do the same routine, the same workout, the same Friday night get-together with the friends. We are routine-based organisms. We largely like predictability and sameness. However, sometimes the same old thing stops working.

I think humanity is caught smack-dab in the middle of one such crisis: the old is no longer working and we are faced with sheer, abject terror over what will replace the old ways of doing things. We realize that taking power over each other and our Earth-Mother is not yielding the satisfaction that it once did. We are feeling restless, bored, numb, depressed, and frustrated with ourselves and the powers that be. Many of us have a sense that there has to be more, there has to be something else out there, there has to be a reason for all of this stuff that keeps happening to us. This is good. It’s progress for us.

I choose to believe that mankind is going to get to a healthier place in all aspects of life and soon; I feel that that we are in the midst of a huge shift in consciousness. We are largely moving away from fanatical, damaging, and harmful behaviors to a deeper living, a deeper spirituality, a deeper awareness that includes honoring the body, Earth-Mother, and the even the unseen forces that so many of us sense (and which help shape our lives).

I can feel a building hunger in mankind to get better, to heal, to realize why we come back to this planet over and over. I can feel mankind one-by-one leaping into the unknown terrain inside and emerging victorious. We want answers. We want to know what things mean. We want to know that our lives stand for something. There has to be more than just acquiring possessions and wealth. There has to be more than watching endless episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Simply put: It’s time for mankind to embrace this shift in consciousness and abandon his  long-perpetrated rape-and-pillage paradigm in favor of a more peaceful, consciously aware, and responsible role. It’s time for us to push forward into our deepest healing and one way to do that is to question how we feel about our bodies and look for any opportunity to be aware of our thoughts and beliefs about the body because these absolutely color everything else in our lives. It’s time to celebrate the body in all of its manifestations. It’s time for us to reverse or at least stop the damage that we have done to our Earth-Mother. You can be a part of this effort. You, right there, reading this post, can begin to address this issue. You are a powerful being. You can affect change. We all can. It all starts inside.

So, all of this to say that I would LOVE it if you would help me spread the word about this blog and in the process help others. Together, we can help so many people change their inner world that will in turn help and change the outer world. Thank you for reading and being a part of the revolution. I appreciate each and every one of you.

“Fat Talk:” Most Women Do It

Body lovers! I just read a very interesting article on something called “fat talk”. What is fat talk? According to psychologists, fat talk is a social phenomenon in which most women and girls routinely engage; it consists of the negative body comments that we females make during conversations.

fat-talk

While men also engage in this activity, it’s far more prevalent among women. Quel supris! Fat talk is the stuff that we say to each other about our bodies when trying on clothes, for example, or the things that we utter when talking about the latest fashions (that we know we will never fit into) or what we say when we compare our physiques to other people’s. We say things like: “I wish my butt wasn’t so poochy” or “One of my boobs is bigger than the other and I hate it” or “Why do I have to have such thunder thighs? or “You look so good in those pants; I wish I looked as good as you.” This kind of talk is very, very common among women and it’s super damaging to our psyches and I argue, our actual bodies.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that women (many, many women), heavily dislike their bodies or aspects of their bodies and they talk about that fact. Often. This makes me so sad. In the past, I also did this a great deal with my girlfriends. I remember uttering phrases that were incredibly cruel about my body. I complained about how muscular I was and how “German-looking” I was. I complained about being fat (when I weighed a mere 155 pounds). I complained about being  too big of leg and too small of boob. **sigh**

I absolutely cringe now to think of all of the negative thoughts and statements that I hurtled at my beloved body and her various parts. It seriously creeps me out and sends a dark **chill down my spine** to know that for years I thought nothing of openly and vocally criticizing my body for various real and perceived “problems”. If you are a woman and reading this, I bet you have similar recollections of similar discussions about your body.

In my opinion, here’s the worst part of fat talk: Our bodies listen to us. Intently. It’s true. They hear every word, every thought directed toward them. If the statements that we make are negative, our bodies suffer. They do. In my belief system, our bodies have their own consciousness. Yes, it’s a consciousness that is closely linked and entwined with our psyche, soul, and ego-based personalities, but the body has its own gig and agenda. The body has its own ecosystem, it’s own management system, it’s own reality that’s largely disregarded and consciously unavailable to most of us.

Because the body has its own life, wishes, desires, reactions, and solutions, they are often frustrated with the person inhabiting them and the choices that that person is making. For example, I used to know a psychic holistic health practitioner who could readily connect with a person’s body and tell them what their various body parts were saying when imbalance had set in. It was fascinating to hear her say to me: “Well, your knee is really displeased with you for the the things you’ve been saying about her. She can’t help the damage that you did to her in your early 20s. She is pretty ticked off at you.”

I sat there stunned and thought: “Wait! I didn’t come in for a problem with my knee. But, yeah, I was just telling Susan about how my ‘bad knee’ affects my ability to do yoga. Son of a gun!”. This experience displaced my entire understanding of the body. Going to see this health practitioner deepened my dialog with the body. And, it helped me to see that yeah, our bodies actually listen to us and have their own reaction to the things we think and say out loud.  When I followed the practitioner’s advice and assured my body that I was listening and addressing the problems, things really calmed down. I could feel a shift inside from some deep place and my inflammation would go away, sometimes pretty miraculously.

Here’s the thing: We are inhabiting these immensely complex, elegant, and miraculous physical bodies that respond to every thought that we think. We are here in the physical to do something in the spiritual. We know this whether we have an organized theology or not. The body is the part of the path through our process of expansion as souls. There is absolutely tons of evidence out there, in an exhaustively wide variety of scholarly and spiritual media, which confirms a very real and visceral mind-body connection.

We know that that the mind is capable of eliciting tremendous feats of strength, endurance, and even healing from within the body. We know that we are electromagnetic beings who emanate energy into the ether by way of our physicality. If you don’t believe me, walk into a room in a bad mood and watch your dog or cat’s reaction to you. Ya! it’s real. We know that the thoughts we think affect our health because we can measure it, quantify it, and document it. We know this. We have proven that negative thoughts negatively affect water molecules and positive thoughts positively affect the structure of water molecules. We understand that our emotions create reactions inside our bodies for good or bad.

Doesn’t it then stand to reason that the words we use to describe our physical bodies would affect not only our physiology but potentially trigger other people’s reactions to their own bodies? Think about that. The words that we so carelessly push into the world are registered; they are recorded. They are chronicled. They are living. Where? In the body. In the ducts, cells, and ligaments. These statements live in the mind of the body. They are stored in the gut. They travel the circulatory system. They are tiny emotional pockets of destruction (or creation) depending on intent. And our bodies are wise to our sh*t.

Why are we women so flippin’ adversarial with our bodes? Without the body, we can’t be here. Without a healthy body, we cannot easily achieve a happy life. Without the body in all of its various states of health, we cannot expand as a consciousness. It’s time for us all to think about what we are saying to the body and think about what we are pushing into the world with our words.

Let’s teach our young women this. Let’s individually and collectively send a message to other females that it takes all kinds of bodies to be here and we are all beautiful and miraculous. Let’s stop talking and start asking the body to tell us what it wants. My body at the moment wants cake, but that’s just me. ; ) Please help me help the women of this world feel good about themselves. Start with you. And, I’ll keep working it from this angle.

Too Fat for France

Image courtesy of artur84 from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

France, she is my heart. She is the jewel shimmering in the distance that quickens my blood; she is my mecca, the utopia that I have long aspired to visit and experience, fully. France is my true country. As an American, I know that this ruffles a few feathers, but you see, in my belief system, I was French before I was anything else. I remember some of my past lives in France. I remember living there, happily. As a result, I continually crave her. I pine for her, deeply. But, there’s one problem. I’m too fat for France.

I know what you’re thinking: “Wait, Liz, you say that you are at peace with your size and yet you are now saying that you’re too fat to visit France?” Yes. As contradictory as this is, it is how I feel and, truthfully, it breaks my heart. Stay with me.

Since childhood, I have had an obsession with France that I could never quite explain, but that made perfect sense to me. I just loved France. I begged my dad to rent the movie A Little Romance because it was all filmed in France. I began taking French as soon as I could in Junior High School and ended up taking five years of it. My room was smothered with posters of French castles nestled into the countryside, French sayings, wine labels, and even a full-size French flag. I spoke French every day. I was in love with that country (for no obvious reason), but it just felt right to me. I couldn’t wait to get old enough to go there. I comforted myself with the thought that as soon as I had enough money, I would book a flight to France and would likely never come back. These thoughts buoyed me through very tough times, of which there were many in my childhood.

The problem is that life crept in. I never had the money. I never took vacations. Hell, to this day, I have only taken one official vacation in my life (where I actually left the country) and this didn’t happen until 2010. I went to Oaxaca Mexico. Anyway, I have worked and worked and worked and worked. I have exhausted myself at various jobs and have never been able to make the break and get to my beloved France. But, I now understand why. I’m too fat for France.

While I sincerely love the way that I look and I love how healthy I am, I’m simultaneously and painfully aware of other people’s judgments. People judge me and I am not going to lie to you, it affects me. It bothers me. Because of my size, other people often see an unhealthy person. They assume that I’m pounding lard at every meal. They don’t know that my blood pressure is rarely ever higher than 110 over 60. They don’t know that I live on about 1200 calories per day. They don’t know that I work my ass off to stay this thin. They don’t know that I am in tremendous shape compared to the rest of my uber-fat family. They don’t know that this “size” of mine is not due to a sedentary lifestyle but to very wonky metabolism and a prevailing shortage of hormones. And, the fact is that I don’t eat enough calories for someone of my stature. My body thinks it’s starving, and well, it is. But, people don’t know that. And, I never get the chance to tell them that and couldn’t certainly tell them that in French, because, I’ve forgotten the language.

But, you see, the French are exceedingly health-conscious, thin, and, frankly, “sizeist”. They openly judge Americans for, among other things: our obesity, our black socks with Bermuda shorts, our rudeness, our crass, untrained palates, our unwillingness to speak their beautiful language. And, in many cases, these judgments are for very good reason. Americans are sometimes these things, but so are people from all over the world (even France).

So, I have not visited my true country, because I honestly cannot bear the thought of being judged by my countrymen. I want to love my visit. I want to walk the streets that are still there from 200 years ago, streets that I walked in my previous incarnations. I want to enjoy myself and love my true country even more than before I arrived, but I’m afraid that if the French judge me (and they will) it will crush me. I cannot bear to see the disapproval in their eyes. So, I don’t go. I keep hoping that I can lose 100 pounds first.

Sigh. Even as I type this, I hear how totally nuts it is; I know, this is crazy. But, there it is. The truth. It makes me squirm a little to let it all out, but this blog is nothing if not a place to air this kind of stuff in the hopes that I can heal it and help other people in the process. **Sigh**

I so hope that I can evolve to a place where I don’t care what other people think. If I am healthy, who cares if other people think that I am not? Who gives a rip if the French think that I’m beaucoup gras? Or, some bumbling Neanderthal American who is there to crush the tiny, but equally underfed, bodies around me. Who cares?