Category Archives: Poetry

Body Poetry is Craaazy Cool!

Lately, I’ve been writing what I call Body Poetry and it’s pretty cool. What is Body Poetry?  It’s poetry that bubbles up from the body consciousness to the mind, not the other way around as is typical with writing poems.

This is how I do it. I sit for a few minutes, close my eyes, breathe deeply into my core, and ask my body to give me sensations, feelings, or words. I invite my body to talk with me. It takes a long time for me to center and still myself long enough to hear, really hear my body, and not trample what I’m receiving with my mind. But, I’m getting better at “hearing” my body with practice. Sometimes I get physical sensations in a particular area. I then zero in on that area and ask “What do you want to say to me? I’m listening.”

The first few things that came through me were really odd, like stream-of-consciousness stuff that seemed to have little coherence or meaning to my current circumstances; here’s an example of something that recently came from the area of my chest and ribs:

yellow curl
heart-scape sealed
grab air
nothing
float
closed

My heart said these things, or “breathed” these words to me as I meditated. I had to wait a while for the words to come up from my body and settle softly in my mind. It’s hard to describe what’s actually happening when I do this, but the words flit through me really fast from way deep in my body. I didn’t understand the meaning of the words that first came through me, but I made sure to hold them, welcome them, feel each one, and live there inside of them for a few minutes. Then, when I traced the words back down into my body, they were crowding my heart area and their meaning became clear. I realized that I had been guarding my heart toward someone because I was recently offended by them. At the time, my mind had quickly and dismissively characterized the whole episode as “their problem”, but when I held the feelings and traced them deeper, I found that my heart was actually still stunned and a bit sore from the exchange between us.

So, my heart’s message was one of curling inward, yellowing, and sealing off. In looking for a connection with the other person and getting nothing in return, my heart then went away with a residue of pain and carried this pain until I asked it to tell me what was going on. And, when I held the words and asked where they were from, the person’s image loomed up in my mind and my heart constricted. Ah-ha! To get this message from my heart was profound. To see that my heart has its own code, it’s own language, and its own presence, aside from the rest of me, was so moving. And, it’s only continuing to deepen as I continue to do this kind of work.

So, I’ve been practicing this a little each day. I can tell you this: My belly wants to and likes to speak. My belly often speaks of force, strength, will, and drive. It often holds a simmering impatience and irritation. But, staying with the static from my belly longer, reveals something else inside all of that bluster and bravado; there’s a supple tenderness, a wish to protect, a yearning to be really seen and considered and loved. And, oh, my Goddess, my belly loves to be touched! She asks for it all of the time. 🙂

Anyway, I’ve found that the loudest feelings are often covering up my more gentle ones; the loud stuff is masking my vulnerability. It makes sense, but until I actually “lived there” with a deep concentration, I was missing all of this.

I have a particular person in my life, whom I adore and who is energetically in my body alot. This person gives me unending pleasure to ponder, sift, feel, and hold inside. When I dial in and ask for belly emotion, his face sometimes looms up inside of my mind, and then I feel such body joy, such pointed awareness of his physicality, his “essence”.  I get chills and radiating blue electricity inside my core and can actually feel my Chi radiating outward; it’s so pleasing. He’s incredibly tangible and physical for me. So, with the help of my belly (and some attention from my mind also), I wrote this poem:

Wanting to gently pull from youjournal_pages
a confession
softly uttered
in the stillness

of
a never-ending night

the barely audible
but steady
timbre of your voice
carrying the weight
of a thousand years
inside it
carrying me open
and down into your
body
as you bare
who you are
at that moment
in the darkness
and use your
missives
to ease the
latches of
my core places
open and
loosen points of
light
into the eaves
where they breathe
and blink above us
like night on
the mountain
whispering
your name
through me
over and over.

This is my belly wanting deep recognition, a confession that he feels as much as I do; it’s a sweet, soft, and pure recognition of the fact that he and I have known each other before now; it’s a longing to hear his words about that experience, our experiences together, then and now. As he speaks, my body opens and becomes his body; parts of me that are usually hidden are gently unlatched and the light of those energies is freed into the corners and eaves of the room where they blink like stars in the night, on the mountain, which has its own messages and mantra. It’s about trusting that this person, whom I’ve let into my core is gentle enough and reverent enough to know what a big deal it is for me to have him there. Few people make it into my core, so this is a significant shift in my energy paradigm. To be honest, it scares the hell out of me to have someone so inside of me like this, so deep, and so prevalent, but my belly largely dictated this reality, so I’m going with it. I’m holding the energy despite my fear.

I think I wrote about this before, but some years ago, I had the pleasure of talking with a psychic that could receive messages from a person’s body parts. She told me that my left knee was unhappy about some of the things I had been saying about it to other people. I was stunned at first and then incredibly apologetic. I begged my knee to forgive me. I simply didn’t know that the body listens to us so intently and never regarded the body as having its own code, it’s own consciousness, its own “life” outside of me, the soul and psyche operating it. Well, I learned such a valuable lesson that day. The lesson has obviously stayed with me. The body poetry work that I’m doing now is an extension of that work from so many years ago. It’s delicious.

Today. These are the words that came from my body:

Heart says: “blue haze quiet longing”

Belly says: “sifting
memories through layers
touching
edges of meaning
holding you
holding you and me”

My left knee says: “walk into future”
My lower back says: “need change need”

Interesting. So, so interesting. I have a feeling that big shifts are coming for me. My body is telling me in advance. I can feel it coming and I’m ready! What about you? You wanna try this? Please do and leave some comments about your experience; or, better yet, write a guest post. Would L<3ve that!

Advertisements

Holy Poetry! I Won a Prize, Peeps!

Hi, BigBodyBeautiful friends!

Just a quick post to tell you some cool news. I, along with some other incredible poets, won a poetry prize. The contest, hosted by the amazing poetry site, The Poet’s Billow, held a Bermuda Triangle Poetry contest on the theme of disappearance.

My poem, Invisible Woman was selected as one of the prize winners. The poem is an observation (not a lament, mind you) of how when one becomes fat, one actually disappears. Check it out, be sure to read the other winning poets, and feel free to share your thoughts here. Oh, and the contributor’s page is pretty cool, too, because you can get biographical information on all of the writers.

Thank you so much, The Poet’s Billow. I’ve loved working with you cool, creative, and nurturing peeps. Please support these guys, readers. They do so much for the poetry community. ❤

Opening You Inside of Me

When we love another, part of what we’re after is unification, acceptance, and connection with the self. We want to feel our fullest essence, the core of us that is untouched and unfettered by life in a body; we want to feel that sacred self by way of another’s attention and adoration. We want to feel our soul, its longevity, its total, encompassing, deathless, and seductive permanence. We also want to feel the ageless soul and being of another, but in my belief system, what we really want is ourselves: whole, happy, deserving, trusting, radiant, and fulfilled, which is how we all feel when we are out of bodies and on the Other Side.

We truly do live forever. We never die. Oh, our sweet, hardworking bodies die, but our souls do not. We simply change shape. We merely change structure. So, when we love, we get to feel the “forever” of our own self by way of another person’s being; and, it’s glorious and enchanting.

Some of my "tangle" artwork. :)

Some of my “tangle” artwork. 🙂

There is simply no better feeling in the world than love. We LOVE love. We love how it feels inside of us. We love when we are appreciative, connected, dialed-in, and glowing with pleasure. We love our heart and soul connections with others. Sure, what we do with our bodies is important. Sex is delicious and fun. But, it’s what happens in our spirits while loving another or sexing another that truly entices us. We know that physical is only a part of the entire equation. And, I argue that the spiritual elements have to be there for the love to be truly healthy, beneficial, and complete.

I’ve written about this before, but when I love someone, whether carnal or not, it’s a crazy ride, man. My energy is nuclear. I love as vociferously as I live. I love so hard that it scares people. Not in a grasping, dependent, and unhealthy way, but in an energetic, all-encompassing, vigorous, and extremely intense way. I love deep, hard, and fast. I fall in love quickly and it stays with me. If I love you, get ready for some big emotion and big fun. Get ready to play in a river of feeling because my love is a totally physical and spiritual orgy of fast-moving, strong current. When I love you, you know it. There is no question because I’m erupting energy all over the room. If you form the question, the answer is always “yes”. I’m all in. Love for me is intensely physical and achingly spiritual all at the same time; it takes a big person to handle me.

More of my tangle art.

More of my tangle art.

So, on this idea, I’ve been back to writing poetry recently and wanted to float a few pieces your way. Oh, and I’m not sure if I ever told you guys, but I had a 60-page poetry book published in 1998 (back in the dark ages before I was this happy). 🙂 Anyway, I was a working poet for quite a number of years and was published alot. But, after 15 years, I gave it up, walked away, and literally stopped writing poetry. I was sick of poetry. Sick of myself and my psychology. Sick of the conversation and narcissism and depression. My poetry was largely a convenient therapist from whom I had to walk away, because I was not advancing, just wallowing. Anyway, that’s my poetry back-story.

Hope you like my new poetry. See if you can get the “theme” of all of these poems or the general chord of connection here.

The Day We Met

the moment opened up in front of us
all eyes and breath
no one else felt it
but we did

you did

later, in my dark room
sifting through the words
we spoke and how the
light
poured out of you

and lit me up

I knew everything was going to be
different

and it is

(Note: This poem was first published, in a slightly different form, on Jackie P’s awesome blog: To Breath is to Write.)

**********************

And Then, He Touched Me

my mind spilled, spine curled, and hand tingled
for days
and days and days.
still, even now, it moves through me and
blossoms inside of me,
the warmest warm, the strongest tug
up and down my length
the light crossing in front
then rising inside
like the image of you
filling me up
and rocking the curve of my bones
open.

**********************

Him

Rising
inside of me,
him
my body
aching
holding
the sun
asking
him in
asking
again
the drag of him
through me
the pulse
of him
in
everything

**********************

The Stone of Love

pressing my hands against it
the cool rock pressing back
its slow breath
climbing up my arms
its ridges in my skin;
its language decoded
thinking about how you
first grabbed my wrist
one quick movement
that set the world
on end
opened the sun
inside of me
decoded my language
as I slide across the cool
old rock and lay open
to the sky
the stone now
pressing at my back
entering me there
then, you, swimming up and
laughing as you grab
my wrist (again) and pull me
in on top of you.

(Note: This poem was first published on Jackie P’s awesome blog: To Breath is to Write.)

Feel free to share your thoughts. Open yourselves here with me and get ready for the connection. I’m ready. ❤ I LOVE you, friends. 🙂