Drinking from a Waterfall

Many, many people have accused me of being, well, intense. Ha! Ya think?! Yes, people. I’m intense. I’m big in body, mind, and soul. There is no missing me when I enter a room or open my mouth. No missing me. In my youth, I spent countless hours trying to be quiet, dainty, thoughtful, reserved, patient, demure, small, and feminine, but you know what? I’m really none of these things. Oh, like all people, I have these elements in my personality and at times, they can be seen, but at my core, I’m not tidy; I’m messy and energetic. I’m big, loud, funny, raucous, active, aggressive, and very yang. A part of me still wishes I was softer and quieter. I mean, I’m certainly soft in the right circumstances, in the right places (ha, ha!), and at at the right times, but I’m a nuclear power plant most of the time. I think I need to just own this sh*t.

waterfall

I once reviewed a book for a friend of mine who was into a really interesting spiritual practice of “no mind” or in laymen’s terms, just being in the present moment with no ego, no plans, less thinking and doing, and simply being. I read my friend’s book and wrote in my review of it that reading the book was like drinking from a waterfall because of the bigness of the book, the expansiveness of the writings and his practice. It is, frankly, the best review of a book I have ever given, because I nailed it. I totally dialed it in and “got” him and his work on a cellular level. It’s so fun when that happens.

This morning, it got me to thinking. Anything that we push into the world by way of expression (even if it’s about other people) is describing us, our psychology, our current self; it’s all about us, not the other person. It’s like when dream analyzers say that the dream is always about the dreamer no matter the subject matter of the dream. No element in the dream is actually about other people; it’s all about the person doing the dreaming. Yes.

So, I’ve decided to take my delicious metaphor back, because it also perfectly describes me and the energy, focus, and bigness of this life of mine. My new task? To go deeper in my psychology and eliminate the desire to be other than I am or to change myself because of other people’s behaviors. I will work harder to own my complete self, the self that is loud and sometimes quiet, messy and sometimes tidy, masculine and sometimes feminine. I will remind myself that who I am is ever-changing, ever-active, and never inert. I can be and am all of these things and if other people don’t get me, oh-freaking-well. I am enough. I will drink from the waterfall of the self over and over until satiated. Then, when I’m good and whole, I will offer the purest compassion, understanding, and acceptance to others. I will then be drinking from a sunbeam. 🙂

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15 thoughts on “Drinking from a Waterfall

  1. Joanna

    I don’t know how many times I have been told that I am loud and ‘out there’. I actually looked at someone the last time someone said this to me and said, ‘I am going to take that as a compliment’. He said,’You should, I didn’t say it was a bad thing’. 🙂 I was kind of taken aback because I thought he was insulting me, but he wasn’t… I am becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin…I think the more comfortable WE are, the more people will accept us!! Big hugs to ya Lizzy!! xoxo

    Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Joanna, That’s why I LOVE you, baby-girl. You and me, well, we are two peas in a pod. I couldn’t agree more. When we accept ourselves, all kinds of cool stuff happens. I’m super good at it and as this post illustrates, am now getting to the deeper nuances of what self-acceptance means. I’m now into the deeper stuff with it. Sounds like you are there, too. I love that. Thanks for commenting, honey! XOXO

      Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Bonjour, mon ami, Mel! So, so good hearing from you, ma sœur. I’ve been happily reading your last five or so posts without commenting because my schedule has completely detonated! I’ve got too much on my plate again, but know that I am coming by and LOVING your words, your energy, and your wit so, so much, honey. Thank you for the very sweet message in your words, sis. XOXO

      Reply
  2. Pat Cegan

    Ah, “drinking from a sunbeam” Perfect! Self-acceptance, just when I think I got it, it runs away. But this is good as it keeps me watching for the elusive little fairy. You delight me, Lizzy. Wish we could go for a walk in the floresta together. hugs, pat

    Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Awwww…Pat, my new darling girlfriend. Every time you take a walk in some lovely spot, I’ll be there in spirit, honey. Course, you could come over to Sedona or I can go to your neck of the woods on my big ‘old Harley (providing you are in the states) and we can do it for realsies! 😉 What a dream, right? Hugs to you, sweeties. I know what you mean about the whole self-acceptance fairy dancing away sometimes. It does get better and better though, the longer we are at it. Love you, punkin!

      Reply
  3. N℮üґ☼N☮☂℮ṧ

    Loved your post, Lizzy. I laughed out loud when you wrote that people think you can be intense. I can relate. As an advocate for human rights, I am prone to take people out of their comfort zone — out of their apathetic stupor. I can only be effective if I’m being true to myself – my authentic self.

    Drink in and shine on my sister, my friend.

    xoxoxo

    Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Victoria-sweetie-pie! You know, the more we chat, read, and comment on each other’s blogs, the more I think we were separated at birth. Ha! YOU and I are in the same tribe, babe.

      I love what you shared here and I love, love, love your passion and fire, honey. It takes intense people to get stuff done, man. So, I totally get you and would never expect you to be anything other than your gorgeous, driven, fiercely intelligent, and outspoken self, honey!

      You can come be intense with me any time you want to! I love you, sis. XOXO

      Reply
  4. Kristen Guzman

    ahhhhhhh! Once again you completely floor me with your brilliant, spot on observations and humor Liz…thank you so much my sister! 🙂 XOXO

    Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Awwww…thanks, my sweet sissy-poo! You are so adorbs and so sweet for saying this. Just trying to go deeper, ever deeper into my psyche and root out the stuff that no longer serves me. You know what I mean? I appreciate you stopping by and sharing, honey. I love you! 🙂

      Reply
    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Thank you so much for stopping by, my sweet Nomzi. It’s always wonderful to have a visit from you and to receive your kind words that buoy my heart and soul. Thank you, beautiful mama. 🙂

      Reply

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