Okay, I’ll admit it: I want you. I want to hold you in my arms, really feel your contours with my hands, with my being. I want to rest beside you and breathe you in and touch you. I want to hear your heart beat, feel your presence emanating inside of me; I want to savor the quickening of my blood when you look at me. I want to stare at you longingly, watch you thinking, tease apart the nuances of your words, decode the mystery of you, and feel how you feel when you are feeling it. I want to know that you sense this, too, that I’m not making it up. It’s real.
I love how your mind feels in my body. Your mind is riveting, fascinating, and so rich. You are incredibly brilliant. In my cells, I want to know what you know, what moves you, what brings you happiness, and what you think. Your spirit, which is hugely evident in your full, gentle eyes, is buoyant, larger than the sun, and shimmering; every time I see you, your spirit crosses the room and enters me with the sweetest little sound and I breathe it, you, into every pore. I pull you into me with force, deeply and fully. Every time this happens, I swoon; my legs buckle. I am filling up with you. I am filling up with the ancientness of you, the forever of you.
When we press together, colors stream from my head, your head, our hands and feet. The colors flush and then contract and careen around the room like bands of dripping wax, coating everything in succulent light. Blue shivers of electricity course the length of me, opening, releasing, shuddering, and shifting. I feel like I’m splitting open, my contents spilling and circling out in waves, touching everything and penetrating the surface of each object. But, then, there are no objects, no separation between anything. There are no edges to me, there is no start or stop to us; we are fused, bound together by light and love. We are simply everything and nothing and everything.
Our electrons combine. You are talking to me. At first, in the heat and energy around us, the words are quiet but then they stand up crisply. I hear them. I hear your soul. You are using my words, reciting things that I have written, which have touched you and have changed you inside. You are whispering words against my neck as we move together. You know that there is no greater gift than to have you uttering my words as we press into each other. You are my mind, my body. I am yours. My soul wraps around you; you receive it. Your soul envelopes me; I receive it, as we turn and spin together and weave the colorful parts of each other open. The two of us exposed, exultant, and finally, home.
I want you to know that the mind has no true place in this place. Despite having to use mind to formulate these sentences, this is from the soul of the body, the soul of the soul, and this is how it feels to invite love, really invite another into my being and let them have their way with me.
This is total vulnerability and tenderness, staggering, breathless love, and the deepest spiritual connection; it’s beyond my mind’s abilities to truly capture. But, you get this. I don’t have to fill the space with more than this, more words. It is enough for me to know that these feelings and sensations live inside of you as they do me. We feel this together.
When we love another, when we want another, we are really seeking a deep and lasting connection with our Source; we are seeking the boundless love of the universe that is available to us at any time; it’s the love that we remember from the Other Side. This is why loving another feels so good, because when we adore someone, we are feeling our own alignment with Source energy; we are tasting our own endless capacity for affection and tenderness and we know that this is our soul’s true purpose. The above is how it feels for me. What about you?