Do you remember Richard Simmons and his license plate that spelled out YRUSOFAT (or something similar to that)? I always crack up when I think of this. I always smile when I think of Simmons’ valiant efforts to help people tackle their weight issues. He was a pioneer in the field of weight loss, by way of exercise. He was flamboyant (still is), funny, and oh, so chipper. I appreciated his methodologies and his humor. But, the thing is: he and every other person out there, trying to help others change their bodies by way of exercise or dieting are going at it from a less-than-effective foundation.

I know. That’s a very bold statement. Lemme explain.

If lasting weight-loss was simply an issue of taking action–you know, as in, exercising, getting gastric by-pass surgery, or dieting–we would all be thin. But, we are not thin. And, when most of us lose weight, after a time, we see it come right back on and then some. For example, I once knew a lovely woman who weighed 280 pounds and got what I feel is an incredibly violent method of weight loss–gastric by-pass surgery–, lost 130 pounds in the first year and by year two, managed to whittle herself down to 110 pounds, only to see the weight and then some come back on in years three through five. She ended up at 340 pounds, without hope, and deeply, savagely depressed. My heart broke for her. It’s simply devastating to be that morbidly, dangerously obese and to have something like this happen. It’s awful to believe that something will work for you and then have to face such an incredibly visual, public failure.

The problem is not that we do not move enough, try hard enough, diet enough, or work enough. Lord knows that we do. Fat people work harder than anyone else at losing weight and trying, striving, killing themselves to be thinner. Hell, we “weight lift” just crossing a room. But, in my thinking, it’s not about taking action; it’s about something else. It’s about responsibility. The core problem is that a majority of people do not take utter and complete responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, emanations, and lives.

Now, before you lamb-baste me for saying this, just consider that it’s possible.

While you know that I don’t often focus on the negative, there are times where I need to dip into the inky-human-darkness in order to get to a solution. So, here’s the take-away: Many of us act like victims. We think like victims. We believe that we’re victims. We’re victims of genetics or our thighs or our big ears or our relationships. We believe that we have no control over what “God gave us”. For the most part, we believe that our bodies are out to get us and that we’re at the whims of nature, genetics, or our early upbringing. We continually look backwards and point to the ways that we were damaged or betrayed.

We blame the body for holding us back, embarrassing us, or keeping us apart from others. We refuse to take ownership of our thoughts and emotions. We uses statements like: “He makes me so mad” and “She makes me want to scream” instead of realizing that no one can make you do anything. That reaction inside of you is a choice. Those statements could, with some consciousness and awareness be replaced with “I feel so mad right now”. Or, When I talk with her, all kinds of emotions come up inside of me. I wonder what that’s all about?” These are examples of taking responsibility for our feelings.

For the most part, human beings refuse to accept that we manifest reality by way of our thoughts, our attention, our utterances, our feelings. We do not question what we were taught by parents, parents who, in a majority of cases, had very little mastery over what they were doing. We know this. Most of us came from childhood situations that were dysfunctional in key areas.

We’re largely taught to look outward for our answers. We are told “ask God,” “pray,” or, worse, “do as I say” (parents say this alot). We’re raised to constantly look outside of ourselves and to look to other people for clues about how we’re doing, instead of being taught to go inward, self-analyze, take an inventory of how we’re feeling, and to consider how our behaviors affect different situations and the results we receive. We’re largely taught that emotions are suspect, our thoughts are “just thoughts”.

And, this wide-spread human reluctance to question what we’re taught and analyze and accept our own answers is why we’re often in victim-mode and why we cannot affect a lasting, positive change with our bodies. This is not to say that working out isn’t a good idea; it just can’t replace or fix our core issues. This is not to say that fitness coaches and other people in the health industry are not doing a good job or helping people, they are. But, there are only so many results one can get from dominating the body with exercise and adhering to stringent food restrictions without addressing the emotional self in tandem.

What we need are deep, core-level changes. We need to penetrate our own psychology. We need to question what we were taught and abandon the ideas that don’t serve us now or at least analyze them and see if there is still a fit. We might do well to take ownership of our emotions and embrace them, not distance ourselves from them. We need to understand the physics involved with our being electromagnetic creators. We would be greatly served by understanding our role in creating physical matter by way of our thinking and embracing that we are not victims of any circumstance, ever.

No fitness coach in the world can truly help a person, who seeks to address bodily issues, without addressing the emotional person, the thinking person, the feeling person, the psychology of the person. Until we begin addressing the core reasons for our reactions and take responsibility for the quality of our lives, whether good or bad, we cannot supersede our station in life in a lasting manner.

The answer is to go inward. Think. Ponder our quality of life. Ask our body for answers. Talk with our higher power, if that’s our belief system. Meditate. Seek help at times, but ultimately know that the answers you seek lie within you and no construct of man, from religion to strength-training can give you the answers to questions that you are not willing to ask. This is an inside job. No one outside of you can do for you what you cannot (or refuse) to do for yourself. The answer lies in looking into the darkness of the psyche and holding your ground, asking yourself why you feel the way you do, what are you being asked to learn and getting as comfortable with the inner processes of your existence as you are with the outward.

When fitness coaches start encouraging this approach, we will make quantum leaps forward as a species and not just in the arena of body shape. Until that time, getting to a place of self-acceptance is the best that we can do. What are your thoughts? Am I out of my tree? Tell me what you think. ~All my love and light to you, BigLizzy


37 thoughts on “Y R U SO FAT?

  1. Jennie Saia

    I absolutely agree, both that we tend to cast ourselves as victims and that we blame others for how they “make” us feel. I am currently trying to figure out why one of my co-workers “makes” me absolutely maddened with annoyance every time I’m around her – when I figure it out, I’m sure I’ll learn something about myself, and the relationship will likely improve.

    Anyway, I also wanted to tell a quick story: Richard Simmons once bit my grandmother-in-law in a mall.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Jennie! OMG! Gasp! What the hell? He bit your grandmother-in-law?! Oh, that just completely changes my viewpoint of him. Why did he do that? Your story of the co-worker will resonate with absolutely everyone, I ‘m sure. Your feelings around her are the indicator of a need to shift something for yourself, but man, it is so hard to do the work. I get into the blame-game often and have to catch myself all of the time. When someone is in my grill and so larger than life and I’m so being triggered by them, it’s very hard not to blame that person for acting like an ass. I have to remember that if I were not offering the vibration, that person would not trigger me. It’s just constant work. The good news is that both of us realize and embrace that it is work that we need to do, not the other person’s responsibility to change their behavior in order to make us feel better. I love you, sister. And, I LOVE your blog so much. You are bright light in this world. 🙂

      1. Jennie Saia

        Hahaha. I *love* this story; it’s such a great ice-breaker. So… I wasn’t there, but the story goes that, years ago, my husband’s grandparents ran into Richard Simmons at a mall in Florida. He was alone, and he approached the grandmother, who is a short, rotund Italian woman. He asked her if she’d heard of him; if she ever exercised; if she wanted to be thinner… after a few of these questions, she got quite annoyed and shook her finger in his face, telling him he was rude. And… he opened his mouth and BIT the tip of her finger! Not hard – it didn’t leave a mark or anything – but he most definitely bit her and then turned around and just walked away.

        Can you believe it?!

        And… thanks for the reminder that I need to do work with the woman in my office. It’s sometimes so SATISFYING to just be pissed off… but it isn’t very kind or evolved. Love you, too – shine on!

      2. BigLizzy Post author

        Jennie, That is so incredibly CRAZY!! I am laughing sooo hard, honey. Not only do I waaaaay adore your grandma-in-law for her feistiness and spunk, the fact that she scolded him and waved her finger in his face?! THE BEST! What a pompous ass he acted like. He better never walk up to me in a shopping mall and start that sh*t! I mean, I’m a super loving person, but I do not tolerate ignorance and assumptions. I might just have to bite his finger and definitely leave a mark! Buwwwahahaha! Thanks for sharing. You so made my day. I’m still reeling from this and the absurdity of it. **shaking my head and laughing** I love you, sista.

    2. runningonsober

      OMG, I love your Richard Simmons story! I was just telling Liz that a blogging friend of mine has a brother who worked with Richard and said he was the nicest guy ever. I’ll have to tell him about the finger biting. Maybe your Grandmother-in-law’s Italian-ness was just too good too pass up? You know how people say “I wanna eat you up!”–I guess Richard really wanted to, LOL. Cute story.

  2. JackieP

    I believe you are spot on BigLizzy. I know my eating problems are more emotional then anything. I get stressed, I eat. I get hurt, I eat. I get upset, I eat. When I’m truly happy with where I am is when I stop trying to force feed myself into feeling different. That’s when I lose weight. That’s when I become motivated to lose weight. Emotions play a big part in eating. Once I came to realize that, I strove to become happy. Then I worked on the weight issues. Without the one, the other became impossible.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Awww, Jackie-babe! You totally get it. You have gotten to the core of it and the root of it. My experience is totally your experience, too. Isn’t it so refreshing to know that so many of us on this planet are getting to the real work and are getting to the bottom (ha,ha) of ourselves? I adore what you wrote here. I love how you take responsibility, honey. Good job!

      1. JackieP

        It’s not an easy thing to do, as you know. But I keep plugging away at it. Thank you.

    2. jeaniegirl

      I read this book. The Language of Emotions. by Karla McLaren.
      BEST thing I ever read. It addresses the condition in the world we especially as women are forced to take on. It’s called: shut up and be “nice” “don’t SAY that” ” “act like a good girl”
      your not supposed to say that or feel that or think that. Why can’t you just sit there are be pretty and not cause a ruckus?
      It talks about how we as a society fail at addressing Trauma inflicted on the young mind. How we are forced to suppress or disassociate from the TRUE emotion and insert a “nicer” one instead.
      This book teaches you that you may THINK you are feeling a certain emotion or experiencing a certain emotion; but since we have been GROOMED to suppress and distract from the REAL emotion, the ROOT emotion may be covered up under some crap!
      It also teaches super quick, super easy ways to channel tough dark emotions that rage on up and I have found it a wonderful life changing tool in my arsenal; because they actually WORK. When you have been groomed to “be nice” and now all of a sudden you give yourself permission to not be nice…..well….I think you get the picture. I found myself gleefully giving the middle finger and saying words; which is lovely, but I have no right to traumatize another because I am immature in my emotional body.
      Because when you KNOW how you REALLY feel; can express it without causing trauma to yourself and others, this is TRUE freedom for the SOUL. And isn’t THAT the point in the first place? To take back what was lost or stolen from the emotional body and be whole and happy and joyful and healthy, mind, body and soul?
      Loved reading your words!!!! and thought I would share this book with you.

      1. BigLizzy Post author

        Hi, Jeanie-honey! So sorry for the late reply to this awesome comment, honey. I had a hell-beast week at work and am only now pulling free enough to address your very cool comment here. Yes, I am totally familiar with Karla McLaren’s work. I LOVED her book and tape series, The Emotional Genius, from a few years ago; her work just freed so much inside of me. I cannot wait to read the book to which you refer here! Absolutely could not agree with you and her more. Love this process of getting whole and becoming the fullest people we can be by exploring the emotional body. I love that you get it and are right in the center of your amazing journey. Love what you wrote here so much. In the last few years, I have been realizing how much the emotional body affects the physical body and how our shapes are tied to emotional wounding in early childhood and how we use our bodies for protection. This is most certainly the case with my own body. Anyway, thanks so much for leaving these great thoughts. Love you, sister!

  3. Fat Bottom Girl

    “Seek help at times, but ultimately know that the answers you seek lie within you and no construct of man, from religion to strength-training can give you the answers to questions that you are not willing to ask.” —I have always said, and believed, that we all have the answers to all our questions inside ourselves. Sometimes, we are able to dig deep enough to find. Other times, we may need guidance from a counselor or therapist. Hit the nail on the head girl!! 🙂

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      FatBottomGirl, you delicious Goddess of truth. Your words and philosophy are awesome. Anything less than feeling our power and knowing innately our responsibility is beneath us and must, for our sake, be changed. We have to be the change that we want. This means that we have to change and then material creation follows. Shift it inside and the outside manifests the new direction, the new phase, the new way of being. You are a sister of my soul and a powerful creator here. I LOVE THAT YOU KNOW THIS!!! What an inspiration you are, mommy. XOOX

      1. BigLizzy Post author

        FatBottom, Yes, couldn’t agree with you more. LOVE the Weebles so much and now I love you, too. You both are awesome Goddesses. XOXO

  4. Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher

    A friend of mine went thru lap band surgery and made a wise statement… she said (pointing to her stomach) “They may have fixed that but they haven’t fixed this” (pointing to her head). Our minds are so powerful, yet they are often utilized for all the bad crap going on in there instead of focusing on the good stuff that makes us sane. Why is that? I think not only is it fear of success but fear of maintaining that success. We can lose ‘the weight’ but we don’t have a good method of keeping it off, knowing how to keep it off or even understanding how it go there in the first place. Weight is so complex – not just a one-size-fits-all solution (ha ha…it’s more like ‘one size fits NONE’ ).

    I would like to get a bumper sticker that says “Y R U SO JUDGMENTAL?” Or maybe drop the “JUDGE” part 🙂

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Rutabaga! Love this comment so much. Y R U SO Mental!!! Buuuwwhahahahaha! I am literally rolling on the floor, dude. LOL! Your friend who had the surgery is a wise, wise woman indeed. I completely agree with her and you. We are taught from birth to people-please. That’s it. That’s the entire problem. Few of us are ever told that we can be do or have anything that we want. We are told to listen and obey. We are taught how to be victims, not creators. Most parents probably mean well (actually, not mine, but that’s a different story), but they do not understand that a baby has its own reasons for being here and its own values and agenda. Most parents regard a child as completely needy and defenseless and treat them accordingly even into young adulthood. Granted, until we can walk and talk, we are pretty defenseless but we are not inanimate globs either. We have been here in bodies before and we will come back and be in different bodies again. Children ought to be raised with the knowledge that they are ancient, wise beings who have a higher self that knows what is going on and has a plan. Think of the implications. It would change absolutely everything about being human. And, then we could stop blogging about and obsession over our bodies (among many other subjects). I love you, sis. Your words could not be truer or more pointed. XOXO

      1. BigLizzy Post author

        Mariner-Mama, Sweetie, thanks so much for the comments and energy. I have a whole pile of bumper stickers that I want to sell on Café Press. One of them reads: “My self-esteem is not derived from the size of my [drawing of a donkey goes here in the sentence]. I laughed so hard when I made that one up. That other bumper sticker was my friend’s idea. Y R U So Judge[Mental]!! So funny! You are so right. It’s about the heart. It’s about how we can love the self first and then love others. It has to begin inside the self or the outward expression of love toward others is not pure, in my opinion. Many of us have it all wrong in life. We send our love outward first and hardly ever send it to ourselves. You get it, girl. XOXO

    2. runningonsober

      You should totally make those, Ruta, or just leave ’em open as a “fill in the blank” thing. LOL. 🙂

  5. mariner2mother

    You’re totally singing my song! You are 100% correct-a-mundo. In fact, over the past few years, I have learned that some of the things holding us back, can be routed in past life events. I have been using hypnosis (with a wonderful hypnotherapist), to help me to ferret out subconscious beliefs that don’t serve me, to explore past lives, and also to connect with my higher self. For me, it’s been amazingly healing. And I have also used a handful of other energy healing modalities, that have done a lot of good. In fact, along the way, I became a Reiki practitioner. And yes, several years back, I saw a traditional therapist as well. She was helpful, but going within and connecting with the divine is where the real answers lie, as you said.

    What pains me most is when people undergo weight loss surgery, without figuring out what the over eating truly all about. I have a childhood friend who had gastric bypass surgery late last fall, and I fear that over time, she’ll balloon back up. She is mentally “off,” and she’s far from honest with herself, never mind anyone else. I watch Carnie Wilson (who televised her gastric bypass surgery) and wonder how much progress she’s made on her insides.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Mariner! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, sweetness. You and I are cut from the same cloth. I love that you are getting some answers and insights from hypnotherapy. Have you read the Michael Newton books, “Journey of Souls” and “Destiny of Souls?” OMG! The most amazing fricken’ books I have ever read. I mean it, these books changed my entire viewpoint about the early childhood victimization I went through and my relationships with key players in life. What I love about the books is that this is a reproducible therapeutic practice where people are regressed, though hypnosis, to earlier incarnations and can then map ailments or emotional issues in this life that were created or experienced in previous incarnations. It’s exactly what you are talking about. There are “Life between Lives” practitioners all across the world. These are trained psychologists, psychiatrists, and hypnotherapists who have learned these techniques and help thousands of people every year. Thank you so much for sharing your story and checking in. You are so fascinating, mommy!

      1. mariner2mother

        Yes, I have read Journey of Souls. Because it’s written in the style of case studies, I found it a little bit clinical. But I love the information! I had already learned a little bit of this, by accident, while working with a hypnotherapist about 4 years ago. http://mariner2mother.wordpress.com/2011/02/21/hypnosis-an-unexpected-experience/

        Dolores Cannon (hypnotherapist) also has written about how things in past lives correlate to our lives now, and takes people to that place between lives as well. (Love her books!) I did a 3 hr. session with a woman who trained under Dolores, and visited 3 past lives. The lessons in those lives gave me perspective on some things going on in my life now; such as the fact that our life is like a play and the people who are closest to us play roles that might be a parent or a child or sibling during this lifetime. And during another life, they might have been a spouse or a child or a best friend to us, playing a very different part (switching up roles of abuser/ victim, parent/ child, and more). And the ultimate goal of all of this is to experience (to learn lessons and to work our karma). And when we die, we take those experiences back into the divine realm with us.

        Another great book that sheds light on why we are really here, and is an easy and very interesting read is: Conversations with Jerry and Other People I thought Were Dead. ( http://www.amazon.com/Conversations-Jerry-Other-People-Thought/dp/0982456700/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1374953721&sr=8-1&keywords=Irene+Kendig ) The author has a degree in Spiritual Psychology.

      2. BigLizzy Post author

        Hi, Mariner-mama, Sorry for the late reply to this. I was out on my HOG all-day yesterday and not on a computer. I suspected that you had read Journey of Souls. Thanks for the links. I am so excited to explore other avenues into this topic. I have read all of Michael Newton’s books and was left wanting more. So I am super excited! You are a sister-of-my-soul; I feel such appreciation that we met through this blog. I love getting to know you through your blog, too. Big hugs to you, sis. XOXO

  6. runningonsober

    I don’t have much to add mama ‘cept I love this, I love the comments, and I love you! Rock on, girlie, I love what you’re doing… Don’t stop. 🙂

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Thank you so much, my sweet friend. I love you, too. Keep rocking that sobriety and self-love, mommy. You have me at your back, always. XOXO

  7. Rhonda Cool

    Lizzy, your writing evokes such strong emotions that it makes it hard to write a response without coming to tears. I totally agree that we must each take personal responsibility for our own behavior, our bodies, and our choices. We have all placed ourselves in victim mode at one time or another; however, some just stay there and never move forward. It breaks my heart to see so many sad faces, ill bodies, and lack of respect for ourselves in the world today. One example that breaks my heart is my sister. She had gastric bypass surgery several years ago because of all the health problems and her 5’4″ frame could no longer handle the 353 lbs. it was carrying around. She did great for the first couple of years, but I think the only reason she did was because of the fear instilled by the medical professionals before, during, and after the surgery. Well, she soon learned that you can drink water before a meal which will expand the stomach and allow you to eat more. Then she started experimenting with foods that were forbidden such as desserts, alcohol, and other simple carbohydrates. I can’t for the life of me figure out why she would do eat or drink those forbidden foods that would make her sick, double her over in pain, and leave her running to the bathroom incessantly. She ended up the hospital twice and almost died once. But, as you say, it has nothing to do with food, and everything to do with emotions and thoughts. I love my sister dearly, but she has confidence and esteem issues. I also know in my heart she is a very lonely person and dreams as every girl does of having a white knight rescue us, love us, and take care of us for the rest of our days. But, alas, that was not in the cards, stars, or plans for her. She is currently the caretaker for my mother and granddaughter, which fills a void, just not the one that needs filling.

    How do we or can we help those family members and friends we love to find the place along life’s journey that gives them peace? How do we tell them they need to be responsible and do the work necessary to reach that place? In my opinion, one of the ways we can is to establish priorities. Any success in life is attained by prioritizing what is and isn’t important. For instance, right now for me exercise has taken a back seat, so I can get my businesses off the ground. Is that the right thing to do? Probably not, because life is all about balance of the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual selves. If one of those is out of balance, it affects the others. And, I can certainly tell they are out of balance, because my energy levels and mental outlook change for the better when I am consistent with what I know I need to do for the physical self.

    So, your point of finding and exploring what it is that makes us hide our thoughts and not want to go deep inside the abyss to find who we are, is all part of that piece of the puzzle. Is that a fault of the reptilian brain – to put things off or hide those parts of ourselves we deem not worthy? Sometimes I just shake my head and ask myself, ” With all the information, knowledge, and technology available today, why is it that we are the most unhealthy, the unhappiest, and the least intelligent of generations before us?”

    At the end of the day, it all comes full circle- right back to your point- personal responsibility. We don’t want to take responsibility for anything. So, we have become a society of inaction. We don’t want to eat healthy, so we end up with high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, and a host of other maladies, but the doctor in essence is saying, “just take a pill and you don’t have to take responsibility for your health, the pills do it for you.” We want to be better parents, but we aren’t willing to educate ourselves on how to do better, so we sit on the couch and watch Big Brother & American Idol. We want to improve our finances, but aren’t willing to do the research necessary to find better options, get a second job, or make some sacrifices, so we do nothing and complain how bad our life is and live off Social Security and the taxpayers when we retire. We want to fall in love and have a family but we aren’t willing to take the time to write down the qualities and values we want in a spouse, to get out of our comfort zone and go join a club or group where we can meet that ideal person, so we sit at home depressed and alone.

    If you want to lose weight, make more money, run a marathon, go to college, meet a movie star, write a book, or be famous – it all starts with two words- personal responsibility. Thank you Lizzy for your ability to get so deep intellectually into our souls and spirits. You touch our hearts and heal them from afar.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      Rhonda, So sorry for my late reply to this. I started to reply to this, like, five different times and had to pause, because it’s just so deep, so sore, and your words are so full of emotion, so true. I was honestly just overcome by my own feelings and by feeling your heart in all of this. This is really touching and honestly, such a reminder of why I do this work, this blog. The story of your sister just floors me. It’s very similar to the story of the people in my family. They are also sick and unhappy. But, some of us are happy because we have chosen that path. Until people refuse to see themselves as victims, this will not change. I refuse to see myself or others as victims. taking responsibility, as you know, is the only way out of victim mode. We cannot force others to see this or change it. They have to arrive at the shores of this understanding after they break their bodies and often across many, many lifetimes. They have to value health before they can manifest it. Some people do not choose incarnations where they value health or honestly or hard working. You get the picture.

      As you know, some of my biggest goals are to help others feel better and to pass along different viewpoints that might help others to get to security, power, and healing. I can completely understand your viewpoints, utterly. Where we diverge a bit is that I do not see this current culture as getting sicker and worse off. I happen to believe that we are moving to a new consciousness and it just comes with a battle. The reason all of this stuff in our culture seems like it’s worse, than in days or yore, is simply demographics. More people = more problems. Added to that is the media. They are constantly shoving this negative, menacing, and unhealthy viewpoint into our faces, at all hours of the day and night, because those stories sell papers and television programs. We see more of other people’s lives than we ever have before. We see intimate details that in days past were always hidden from sight or were often hidden. Now, it’s a free-for-all. Everything is on the table and in plain sight, so it can lead one to think that things are worse, but they are not.

      Things are more congested, certainly. Things are exponentially bigger because there are more people here and more programs showing us the ugly; but, it’s simply more visible now, that’s all. I feel that people are as they have always been–some are sick, some are well, some are fat, some are thin. Some value healthy, some do not. Some steal, some give. A good example is that we have a huge health movement in this country now. Many people are in the middle of this and leading more healthy and balanced lives than ever before. We are getting better, collectively. It’s just hard to see it.

      As always, thank you so much for sharing your amazing thoughts and insights. I adore you, friend and I adore that we can talk about all of this stuff and that we are big enough, in spirit (and, in my case, body!) to make room for each other’s ideas. I love you madly! XOXO

  8. Jen and Tonic

    “For the most part, human beings refuse to accept that we manifest reality by way of our thoughts, our attention, our utterances, our feelings.” YES YES YES. The moment I started accepting responsibility for myself, I got better. What’s interesting is that through that process, I learned that I lacked self-respect, and that’s what was really preventing me from breaking through and owning up.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      You know I love you, mama and not just because you agree with me, but because you totally GET IT!! It’s so awesome that when you started to take responsibility, your life began to improve; it makes perfect sense. It’s like we all have to raise ourselves after our parents do their numbers on us. LOL! So glad that you have taken up your life and now own it completely. That’s why I LOVE you, girl. And, you are one hell of a writer. That’s also why I love you. 🙂

  9. karenperrycreates

    There’s a phrase I heard a personal trainer say once. He called someone skinny-fat. Essentially, it’s like calling someone a dry-drunk. In sobriety a dry-drunk is someone who has stopped drinking but hasn’t worked on the core issues that led them to drink in the first place. I can totally see how this relates to obesity and just about every issue we humans manifest! What about nicotine? Smokers are being sold the idea that all you need is an e-cig and you’re home free. It seems crazy to me to not address the underlying issues.

    1. BigLizzy Post author

      TOTALLY!! That’s exactly my point and you put it so beautifully, Karen. It’s the dry-drunk syndrome. We attack the body because it’s such a visual representation of how we are manifesting energetically. So, we attack our physical with surgery, makeup, chemicals, food, drink, hatred, etc., instead of getting to the core of our issues, which is always emotional. This is emotional work, not physical. It all is. The body follows the energy of the consciousness and life. The body just happens to get the brunt of our perceived powerlessness because it’s so obvious and real and big.

      We are not powerless, but so many of us believe that we are and that we can do nothing about life and its travails. Total rubbish! And, this fracturing almost always occurs in childhood; so, many of us remain there, frozen at the age we were wounded the worst. But God gives us so many chances to look at this and tend to ourselves, grow ourselves, and heal those tender, wounded spots. It astounds me that people truly believe they are victims. We can see this playing out in all aspects of our culture. It’s just like what you were talking about in your Barbie-doll post. I love that post, sissy!

      I so hope that we get this dealt with. We are powerful co-creators with God and it’s so beyond time for humans to realize this and walk into our divinity and expansiveness. I pray for this every single day. 🙂 XOXO


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