It’s true. Ask any dude and he’ll tell you that a woman with self-esteem, a woman who knows who she is and can actually think for herself is far sexier than some stick-thin bimbo with big boobs who leaks insecurity and pathos all over the room. Now, before you jump on me: This is not to say that stick-thin bimbos with big boobs can’t have self-esteem or be intelligent; they can. But, in a straight, side-by-side comparison between a chunky woman with self- esteem and a woman with a “hot body” and little self-esteem, the fatty with a healthy love for herself will always win.
Don’t believe me? That’s okay. I can’t really prove these assertions anyway as they are largely anecdotal. But, I can tell you that I have observed this interesting social phenom on many occasions, mostly, through my own experiences. This is not because I’m not interested in other people’s lives, but because I honestly do not know many women with the rampant body-love that I possess, so I have to use myself as the guinea pig.
But, back to the core message. I get hit on all of the time. Yes, me, at 250 pounds of hefty Germanic-Indian-and-French origin. Seriously. I do! Oh sure, plenty of people look right past me or through me like I’m not there, but that’s about them, not me. I can tell you that lots of people, the right people, notice me and my “healthy, happy, loving emanations”. I get looked at, up and down. I get hit on. My husband tells me this all of the time; dudes look me up and down, alot. Yes, even with my big booty and my joyous rolls of belly fat. They look. Why?
The secret is that I love myself. I love my life. I adore my body and that “light” of self-love just blitzkreigs out of me and into any given space, filling it with a breathy, astonishing, and buzzing buzziness. Okay, ya, ya, ya. Everyone knows that I’m terrific. But, I want YOU TO FEEL AND BE TERRIFIC!
I want you, dear readers, to know how awesome and gorgeous you are. I want every woman to feel her power and to feel her sexiness and to truly, deeply, and abidingly know that it doesn’t matter one little bit what you look like. What matters is how you feel. What matters is your mental health, your depth, your presence. Most guys, well, guys of substance and equal self-esteem, do not care if you have a fat ass. They don’t! They care that you can laugh and poke fun at yourself and poke fun at life’s travails. They care that you are healthy and happy, not “thin”. Trust me. Guys, back me up! Leave some comments. Let’s fix this female “mind-poop” once and for all!
Women are the ones who largely obsess over their size far more than men obsess over their wives or girlfriends’ sizes. If you could spend 1/10th of the time you now spend obsessing over your weight and instead find little ways to love yourself, to think about the miracle that you are, connect with your reasons for being here, in this particular body, and then embrace that journey? OMG! Your life would explode with energy, joy, movement, passion, and love.
So, I have an idea. Do this: Stand in front of a mirror every day for five or six minutes and tell yourself how cute or sexy or happy or present or beautiful you are. The adjective does not matter so long as it’s a positive adjective or statement. Do this even if you do not yet believe it. And, do this for a total of 30 days. Look at your body and thank her. Look at your breasts and tell them: “Thank you for being here with me and for feeding our children.” Tell your hips: “You are so awesome for holding me up, for allowing me to do so many things.” Tell your neck, “I love you, neck. Look at your cute little pad of pudge and how you laugh when I do”. Tell your feet: ” What a wonderful job you have done in supporting my life and movements, feet. You take so much and rarely complain and for this, I deeply love you.”
Go through your whole body and tell your entire body that you love and respect her. This exercise, if done diligently and with a full, soft heart, will change your mind and it will change your perspective. I promise. I promise that at the end of 30 days, you will feel differently about yourself. You will feel happier. You will begin to believe your own programming.
Try it and write to me. I want to know what you experience. And, if you want to write a guest blog post here about your experiences, ABSOLUTELY let me know. All my love to you, my friends. ~Lizzy
- Requirement for Healthy Self-Esteem (daphnegan.wordpress.com)
- “Self esteem is… (vivalahodges.wordpress.com)
- Coaching Self-Esteem (seymoursolutions.wordpress.com)